Well, hello, dear readers.
Long time, no see and all that.
I have sadly neglected the Blog for some time - apologies. As ever (I'm a broken record really) life has been insanely busy and I have barely been home long enough to think about Blogs let alone write one.
 |
| Yes, yes, I'm a Bad Person, okay? |
But enough with the excuses; here we are and I am raring to go with a new Blog Post.
The last couple of weeks have been insanely hot.
 |
| ...show offs. |
Well...hot for England anyway.
So hot, in fact, that poor BF has been suffering at night. Although that has very little to do with the heat affecting him and entirely to do with his less than mentally stable girlfriend (c'est moi for those not following my eloquent ramblings).
The hot weather does strange things to me. And my dreams.
I tend to have very vivid dreams throughout the year but, for some reason, when it is really warm at night (the sticky, oppressive, kick-the-duvet-off kind of heat) they get really weird but very real.
NB: Some of the following circumstances and conversations may have been dramatized (slightly) for humorous effect.
(Act 1, Scene 1.
Two bodies lie in bed next to each other. It is dark. It is silent. Suddenly...)
AJ: (gasps and sits up in bed)
BF: (roused from slumber by movement next to him but voice laden with sleep) Huh? What is it?
AJ: I just need to check something. (AJ scrambles from the bed and moves towards the door.)
BF: Mm-hmm...sure....(Sleep is beginning to reclaim BF as he rolls over to continue peaceful slumber).
AJ: I'm just going to turn the light on. (AJ is stood with finger on the main light switch)
BF: Wait...
AJ: Ready? (AJ is poised)
BF: Wait, what?....ARGH!
(AJ has turned on the bedroom light and BF lies blinking owlishly as he is blinded. AJ has been prepared and has covered her eyes against the glare)
BF: AJ, do you have to do that now?! (BF is grumbling and rightfully indignant as he rolls back over)
AJ: (stunned that BF can even ask such a question as the vital necessity of turning the light on appears to have been lost on BF. AJ must correct the misunderstanding) I had to check for the jellyfish and octopuses!! (Author's Note: octopussies? octopussi?)
BF: (amazed silence)
AJ: There are jellyfish in the bed! They were on me. (AJ huffs and turns off the light, satisfied that the jellyfish and octopuses have moved on and will not return. AJ returns to bed.)
(As if that wasn't enough. A few minutes later...)
(AJ is curled up into a tiny ball on the edge of the bed and is clearly Throwing A Huff if her scrunched up face is anything to go by. BF, now on the verge of sleep, edges closer and touches AJ's foot with his. AJ pulls away. The face scrunching worsens.)
AJ: I can't believe you had a go at me like that. I was just checking for the jellyfsh! Unless you want jellyfish to be in bed with us.
BF: (amazed silence - BF realises that this may be something of a trend during this relationship)
AJ: Harrumph.
BF: Love you, you nutter.
(The face scrunching stops. AJ appears to have realised that there were never jellyfishes in the bed and that she has just woken up BF at 3am on a work night and that his slight annoyance at having been woken up in the middle of the night is, in fact, entirely justifiable.
AJ rolls over to BF's side of the bed and, for the remainder of the night, there may not be jellyfishes in the bed but there is certainly at least one limpet.)
And they lived happily ever after....until the next night where AJ decided there was a weedle in the bed that needed to be caught in a Pokeball stat.
Oh...don't look at me like that. Did anyone really think that I wouldn't download this game?!
The Pokemon theme song is in my wedding playlist for goodness sake. (Sozlol, BF.)
&&Fin.
