Kids Believe In Santa; Adults Believe In Childhood

That Time We Apologised For Some Christmas Themed Stuff

What The Buzz: #DearSantaSorryFor

As is only appropriate, the Twittersphere has been awash with Christmas joy and yuletide woe.

In between fights over the Miss Universe pageant in which, somehow, Steve Harvey managed to get away with his huge error by tweeting an apology and all the contestants got flack for their behaviour following the monumental cock up orchestrated by the inimitable Steve Harvey.

(Just as an aside, I have nothing against Steve Harvey and have spent many hours laughing at his antics on Family Fortunes - the innuendos that man produces with his eyebrows alone are hysterical.)

In any event, I felt it was time to do something suitably festive and so the hashtag this week is #DearSantaSorryFor.

Which could only end in hilarity obviously.

Here are some of my favourites:

#DearSantaSorryFor my bad jokes...However, here's one of my better ones! pic.twitter.com/txlPxgrBqa

— Hacker T Dog (@CBBC_Hacker) December 22, 2015

(Dad jokes ftw!)

#DearSantaSorryFor NOTHING. I REGRET NOTHING. Bring on the coal. I don't even care. pic.twitter.com/6yd6WAnq24

— Lily Bailey (@LilyBaileyUK) December 22, 2015

#DearSantaSorryFor opening a present early.. I craved tea & our old kettle blew up!!😁..this is actually true ☕️ 🇬🇧👍🎄 pic.twitter.com/rHwratfgQO

— Si Cranstoun (@SiCranstoun) December 23, 2015

(The most British Brit to ever have Britted.)

#DearSantaSorryFor 2015. Yes...all of it.

— The Orctioneer (@Quirkative) December 22, 2015

#DearSantaSorryFor "That - uhh...thing..." pic.twitter.com/9264aRQOcp

— TrivWorks (@TrivWorks) December 22, 2015

(Someone gets it at least!)

And here's mine:

#DearSantaSorryFor making non-alcoholic mulled wine.  Sacrilege!

&&Fin.

Everything I Learned, I Learned From The Movies

That Time We Did Some Bad Summaries

What The Buzz: #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly

This week's trending topic is something of a mouthful and looks like my own brand of 'hashtags which shouldn't be a hashtag as they are way too long and cumbersome'.

(...Actually, come to think of it, that statement might apply to a lot of things in my life, not just hashtags. )

In any event, this hashtag caught my eye because a) I thought the contributions would be pretty hysterical and b) I took part in something very similar back in the old days when Livejournal was all the rage and communities on said Livejournal were alive and kicking.

This goat scarred many teenagers.

Getting off the subject (as usual), the tweets for this trending topic were amazing and here are some of my favourites:

#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly A jealous cowboy and a self-important astronaut must work together to escape a mass murderer. pic.twitter.com/E8DvgrDvkj

— Helen Kingston (@kingstonwrites) December 17, 2015

kid comes out of the closet #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly pic.twitter.com/XcjJvtzDaD

— Kira Mendenhall (@kira_mendenhall) December 16, 2015

#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly Ice Bucket Challenge gone horribly wrong. pic.twitter.com/U8R8LwXkJ3

— Kat (@KatGoneGamer) December 15, 2015

Girl learns she can get the guy as long as she fundamentally changes all her core values. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly pic.twitter.com/BmpX1yMeHa

— . (@IamJackieMc) December 14, 2015

Him: I love you Her: new phone who dis? #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly pic.twitter.com/o2rTXDxtvk

— Southern Post Grad (@southern_grad) December 14, 2015

American invades foreign land, kills local leadership, struggles to find exit strategy. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly pic.twitter.com/V0GgGUIq9Z

— Round John Virgin (@JAMyerson) December 14, 2015

I love sarcastic little quips like this so here are a few of my recycled ones from Livejournal (RIP).

- "Humans make robots. Robots kill humans. Humans kill robots. Humans kill humans. Robots kill robots. Somewhere along the way everyone forgets who the good guys are."

- "A quirky, English-sounding bloke takes people in his blue box to places that look an awful lot like quarries in Wales."

- "A billionaire playboy on the wrong side of middle age somehow builds a highly powered suit in a cave and then proceeds to annoy the US military by blowing things (and people) up." 

- "Billionaire is running on batteries of his own design and realises that the thing keeping him alive is also killing him. Irony, thy name is Iron Man."

- "Kids that are considered ‘freaks’ go to a special school where they learn about the fashion faux pas that is black, skin tight leather." 

If you fancy a giggle check the hashtag for more brilliant examples :D

&&Fin.

We Hear What We Want To Hear

That Time I Was Dissed By A Pre-Teen

It's that time of year, dear readers.

People wear hideous jumpers 'ironically', Starbucks' red cups litter the ground and the smell of donkey poop is in the air.

It must be Christmas.

I'm onto you, Donkey Face.

Don't be fooled by my flippant comments about Christmas, dear readers; I love it. 

From the music to the food to the drinks to the board games to the smell of cloves in EVERYTHING. 

I seriously love Christmas and can usually be found curled up in a corner making snowflakes or brightly coloured paper chains. 

Given my love of Christmas (and my family) it seemed only fitting that my sister and I join our dear mother at her school's Christmas fete. 

Nothing like this.  In case you were wondering.

Among the home made games stalls, tombola and bric-a-brac stalls there was a glorious tea, bacon sandwich and cake stand. 

It was here that we found refuge from the bitter winds and sat down for a cuppa. 

As my mother works at the school, lots of children would say hello or chat to her and, as a former small human myself, I have a fondness for the cute little snotballs. 

And so it was that I found myself talking to one such small human that we shall call Freddy.  Freddy was a friendly, if slightly shy, boy and so when I engaged him in conversation I was rather proud of myself as it seemed that he had opened up to me.

As the Christmas carols filtered across the playground and the welcoming scent of bacon hung in the cold December air, Freddy and I bonded.  

Until our conversation went as follows:-

Me: So Freddy, how old do you think I am? Because Mrs J is my Mum. 

Freddy: Err..I don't know. ...22?

Me: Well, that's very close Freddy! I'm actually 25 so that was a very good guess indeed. 

Freddy: ....I said 32.

Me: Oh. 

I'll just be over here...tears falling down my 32(!!) year old looking face.

So yeah...turns out I'm not all that fond of snotballs after all. 

Sorry Mum, add another few years onto the waiting list for grandchildren.

&&Fin.

Art Is the Lie That Enables Us To Realise The Truth

That Time We Discussed Modern Art

What The Buzz: #TurnerPrize

So....art.

I am notoriously bad at this.

Which only serves to frustrate me more as I don't understand how anyone can be 'bad' at art as surely it's entirely subjective?

And therein lies my problem; I am overly analytical about how I should even be viewing various art.

And already the complications begin.

Me wandering around the National Gallery and rocking an awesome pixie/bowl cut.

In any event, a trending topic on Twitter this week was the Turner Prize which was (SPOILER ALERT!)  awarded this evening to a group called 'Assemble'.

The Turner Prize (for those, like me, that had no clue) is an annual prize awarded to a British visual artist aged under 50. The award started in 1984 and represents all forms of media.  The prize is often surrounded by controversy including celebrity guests swearing (tut tut Madonna) and criticism of a piece which involved preserving a shark in formaldehyde, 

I wasn't joking about that.

So this year's short list was as follows:

Bonnie Camplin - who created a supernatural study center which showed interviews with people claiming to have had paranormal experiences/meetings.

Janice Kerbel - with an avant-garde, acapella 24-minute opera about a fictional character named Doug.

Nicole Wermers - whose installation of 10 dining chairs with fur coats sewn on to the back was nominated to win the prize.

and eventual winners:

Assemble - with a regeneration scheme for derelict houses in Liverpool.

Hard at work - 'Assemble' - assemble! ...just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?

Assemble winning the prize has been met with some controversy as some critics are arguing that the entry should not be eligible as it is not modern art. Author and broadcaster, Muriel Grey said that whilst the entry was 'socially responsible' and a 'beautiful piece of architecture' it was not modern art in her opinion.

And yet, overwhelmingly, it would seem, the Twitter sphere has got behind Assemble and has praised the judges for awarding the prize accordingly. 

hugely excited about Assemble winning #TurnerPrize, a move away from artist narcissism and a good day for art+design+archt+social projects

— ₥ Plummer-Fernandez (@M_PF) December 7, 2015

Many congrats to Assemble on their #TurnerPrize win! Back in 2014 we gave them an Icon Award https://t.co/WGFZiI5PrL pic.twitter.com/xsXo7NCR94

— Icon magazine (@iconeye) December 7, 2015

#TurnerPrize #assemble truly changing minds & society. That's what art should do. Well done.

— Dr Yathish Rangappa (@YathishRangappa) December 7, 2015

Here's hoping #Assemble nail the #TurnerPrize. It needs a shakeup. A controversial yet accessible & inclusive winner would be most welcome!

— Mark McClure (@markmcclureart) December 7, 2015

Personally, I like that Assemble won the Prize.  As much as I don't know much about modern art (and have never purported to, I might add!) I like the message behind the art.  I like that it has involved so many people and has made a bigger and lasting difference than just an exhibit for a few days.

I like the thinking behind the art and the fact that people went out and made it happen and that it was a positive message being spread.  

But, what would I know? I thought Banksy was a restaurant in London for months.

&&Fin.

Everything Has Beauty But Not Everyone Sees It

That Time We Tried To Do A Beauty Blog Post

(Just as a really quick note - I have now signed up to Blog Lovin' and a big shout out to anyone that has stumbled across this blog from that site.)

Apologies, dear readers, that I have once again missed out on a What The Buzz Monday blog post.

There are no excuses (except that there are) but I have been incredibly busy this week - with Law School exams, a huge merger at work with a national law firm and trying to squeeze in all my family and friend obligations too (obligations sounds like it's a chore and, let me assure you, it really, really isn't).

But, alas, being busy is no excuse for laziness so my sincere apologies for missing out another scheduled post.

To make it up to you, I thought I would post something of a beauty recommendation post.  Something I have yet to do on this Blog or, indeed, at all.

As this is my first time, I ask only that you please be gentle.

So here are my top 5 beauty recommendations for December:

1. Tangle Teezer

When I bought this product, the shop assistant at Boots told me that it 'would change my life'. I laughed at her at the time.

But, oh, how right she was. 

This brush/comb is incredible. The soft bristles untangle your hair with minimal pain and reduce the amount of broken hair you may get by running an ordinary brush through.  I have reasonably long hair and it is always ridiculously knotty.  I can untangle all the knots and within 5 minutes, I am tangled up again.

It's honestly a nightmare. 

So this brush/comb was something of a last resort and friends of mine had been praising it.  I hadn't pinned too much hope on it to be honest but holy moly, it was like my knots were being untangled by cherubs breathing their angel breath on me. 

A serious must have for anyone who dreads dragging their brush through their hair after a windy, wintry day out and about. 

2. Forever Living - Fleur de Jouvence

I am completely addicted to the Forever Living range at the moment.

It is a bit of a fad that seems to have taken off in a huge way - aloe vera solves everything.  Apparently. 

But, actually, it does!

I have been drinking the berry nectar gel, using the products in the picture above and have also been using the shampoo and conditioner so it has been aloe vera overkill in my house at the moment. 

Having used the products for a few months, I have really noticed the difference in the condition of my hair and especially in my skin.  I suffer from fairly regular breakouts of mild-moderate acne and, whilst it is never awful, it is not the greatest thing in the world and, as any acne sufferer will know, it can leave you feeling really self-conscious. 

Since using the aloe vera products I have noticed a huge improvement and very rarely have an outbreak at all and the odd occasion that I do, it is very small and not painful. 

Which, let me assure you, is nothing short of a miracle.

The night creme is especially good and all the products smell incredible.  I should give out a quick warning for the face mask though.  It is really good but be prepared for your entire face to freeze! The mask dries so solidly that you will not be able to move a muscle.  But your face feels so baby smooth once you wash it all off.

This.  But hopefully less bald.

Cannot. Recommend. Enough.

3. Dr.Ceuticals Super Repair Hand Cream

I used to be an avid nail biter and I would nibble away at my nails and fingers until they were tiny little stubs that were bleeding and just horrible.

It was a real problem.

Every year would come and go and my New Year's Resolution would not change: do not bite my nails.

I was able to finally break the habit late in 2014 and have never looked back.

One of the things that really helped was applying loads of hand cream. Constantly. 

So, whenever I come up to stressful periods of my life, I try and invest in a new tube of hand cream to apply it as liberally as possible and avoid returning to bad habits, 

Luckily, I have the loveliest friends and got sent Dr.Ceuticals hand cream in the post as a gift from the beautiful and generous Stephanie.  This hand cream is Awesome.  Capital A.

The consistency is pretty thick but it absorbs so quickly and is also non-greasy.  The smell is really subtle and you don't need much at all. 

The above photo also leads me nicely into the next product...

4. Gel nails

...it's an addiction.

But I love it!

Like I said above, not biting my nails was a major thing for me so when I finally did, I treated myself to a few professional manicures and I now love having all sorts of crazy designs applied to my nails.

I like to go for gel polish as it doesn't chip and lasts for 2-3 weeks on me before it starts to look ridiculous with the nail growing out.  Plus it is super shiny!

I am lucky ion that the polish doesn't seem to damage my nails but I do tend to leave the nails for a few weeks bare in between applications to give them a chance to breathe. 

Looking forward to getting more crazy designs in the new year as I currently have red sparkly on (as per section 3 photo) for Christmas and it's a bit more muted than I normally go. 

Will keep you updated with my latest crazy designs! :)

5. Max Factor Skin Luminizer

This stuff is seriously amazing. 

I am super pale with loads of freckles so it is normally a nightmare to try and match a foundation or concealer to my skin without looking like I have caked myself in some form of blancmange and/or polyfiller. 

But this blends into your natural skin tone and gives you a real soft, dewy look without that heavy, made up feeling.  Plus, because it is a good product, you only need a tiny bit to cover the whole face. 

Which is perfect for me because I am a total cheapskate and hate wasting money on products to use the whole thing in a couple of weeks.

Really love this at the moment as I can throw it on in the mornings and trust that it will do the job. 

So those are my 5 top beauty picks for December which was actually a lot harder than I thought so props to the beauty bloggers that do this all the time. 

If any of you dear readers have any winter beauty tips that warm the cockles of your hearts, leave a comment and let me know. 

For now though, remember that if it makes you feel good - go for it! Beauty is only skin deep after all.

&& Fin.