Words Are Memes That Can Be Pronounced

That Time We Talked About The Latest Online Plague Trend

What The Buzz: #DontBeLike

First things first, I have to say thank you to all you lovely readers - we reached 2,500 views this week! Thank you, thank you to everyone who has read The Blog and hopefully cracked a smile at the various antics detailed within.

You all rock.

And this week we will be looking at the stick figures that took over Facey B.

'Be Like Bill'

...Or else.

This is Bill.

(Oh, God, now I'm doing it too.)

This is the meme that appeared and then spread like wildfire through facebook and twitter.  Whilst the meme was initially fairly harmless, it soon became a subject of ridicule (as every fad does eventually...does anyone remember how stupid the ice bucket challenge was?! Or makeup-less selfies? Yep...saving the planet there guys.  Good work.)

This meme did not stay popular for long. 

Err...that escalated really quickly.

This was a perfect example of how quickly a really simple idea can spread when embraced by enough people. And how, despite becoming a subject for mockery just as quickly, it was still EVERYWHERE.

How many of these memes have you seen in the past week? pic.twitter.com/IGTXIPsQR1

— What's Trending (@WhatsTrending) January 24, 2016

#prettymuch #stickfigureoverkill #belike #dontbelike pic.twitter.com/Bt2k9CPcEW

— catalina shoate (@shoatezoo) January 25, 2016

According to several credible news sites, the idea behind Be Like Bill was to call out annoying social media habits.

...yeah.

The irony is actually tangible.

Be Like Bill actually started in late 2015 but it has recently become a viral hit following the creation of several meme generators that allow people to put their own names/scenarios in the frame.  And of course generated the anti-Bill meme; Don't Be Like Bill. 

This will, undoubtedly, go the way of other social media fads but, for the meantime, the Interwebz has something new to hate/ridicule and that should satiate her for now.

I had to have a go myself (obviously) and the first few were so random that I realised people must be spending a significant amount of time re-generating their personal memes until they got one that was #relatable or at least somewhat appropriate.

If you want to have a go yourself the link is here.

And I totally won't judge you.

...until you post it on facebook.  And then you should really worry when I get around to doing my next friendship cull.

&&Fin.

If You're Going To Do Something Tonight That You'll Be Sorry For Tomorrow Morning, Sleep Late.

That Time We Discussed Corporate Responsibility (not as dull as it sounds. Maybe.)

A story that grabbed my attention this week: GourmetMurderKitchen.

This story involves Gourmet Burger Kitchen (affectionately shortened to GBK) and their latest advertising campaign and the subsequent backlash they faced.  Words aren't really going to do this justice so I'll post some examples:

I know what you are thinking, dear readers.

'Oh dear' indeed.

You will imagine the outrage, the uproar, and general middle-class fist shaking anger these adverts produced. (Which is totally justified, actually). People can take offence at pretty much anything on the Interwebz and I am normally the first one to offer a cup of tea, a pat on the knee and a reassuring 'now, now, calm down, dear, it's not as bad as all that'.

Except that, this time, it pretty much is as bad as all that. 

Possibly the worst Ad campaign of 2016 and we’re only in January. https://t.co/QNGqJyG7tl

— Jonathan Richard (@JonRichard) January 18, 2016

#gourmetmurderkitchen @gbkburgers Bravo to your marketing dept on an epic fail! Take a defining chapter of our generation and ridicule!! 😕

— Jason Bromley (@Dispeller79) January 17, 2016

I'll always remember the day I boycotted Gourmet Burger Company #gourmetmurderkitchen

— Mrs P (@missy_mcsquishy) January 17, 2016

Then of course come the photoshopped images (they really made this one too easy):

@gbkburgers cheers for making it even easier to ignore your food chain. Really bad advertising.#gourmetmurderkitchen pic.twitter.com/ZX1PwYD7fl

— Luna Unicorn Sminks (@this_sminks) January 18, 2016

Following the new adverts being plastered all over the place, including on the London Underground, people took to social media to rant and rave about the 'disgraceful' ad campaign. Vegans, vegetarians and meat eaters alike appear to have found the campaign in poor taste, not least because it has been revealed in the middle of Veganuary (I had to Google it too, don't worry). 

Really, GBK? Really?!

From a practical viewpoint, this campaign is even more baffling given that GBK caters for vegans and vegetarians so why they are trying to ostracize one sector of their client base I do not know. 

But, as if that wasn't enough to piss off most of the Internet, then came this:

Ah, the insincere corporate apology. The Law of Holes seems apt here. Rule #1: If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. But, no. GBK really likes that shovel and damn it all to hell if they don't want to make that clear!

Not only do they not appear to understand where the offence could have possibly come from but they get all defensive about actually providing vegetarian options.

....slow clap. 

Do they not realise that providing meat free options is pretty much standard in nearly all restaurants nowadays? What kind of idiot opens a restaurant and doesn't provide anything for the 4 million vegetarians currently in the UK? I mean, even Nandos has vegetarian options and they aren't being dicks about it, are they?

See how I avoided a cheesy pun about 'cocks' there? You. Are. Welcome.

Seriously, GBK, I think you need to sort out your marketing department. 

Speaking of...#TeamSociallyM is totally (probably) up for the challenge.

Then again, this one might have really been the final nail in the coffin for your vegetarian and vegan clients and maybe a few meat eaters too. Still, they say any publicity is good publicity, right?

Yeah, I reckon the Handmade Burger Company probably agrees with that right about now.

&&Fin.

I'm An Instant Star. Just Add Water And Stir.

That Time We Discussed The Inevitable

What The Buzz: #DavidBowie

As you are already no doubt aware, David Bowie has sadly passed away after a battle with cancer.

The Twittersphere and Facey-B alike exploded with the news with messages of sadness and heartfelt remembrances.

Personally? I can only claim to be a casual fan of the late, great Bowie.  I have an appreciation of his music, certainly, but my main source of love for the man comes, undoubtedly, from his performance as Jareth the Goblin King in 1986's Labyrinth. 

(I also particularly love Life on Mars (the song and TV show) but that is a somewhat loose connection.)

The Best Thing to happen in 1986. WITHOUT QUESTION.

David Bowie was a true icon and has given us so much to enjoy including 25 studio albums, an incredible 51 music videos and has sold over 140 million albums worldwide which is certainly a fitting tribute to the longevity of Bowie's popularity.

But for me, he will always be that strangely alluring, magical, cruel to be kind magician that captured my imagination when I was a young girl.  I remember watching this movie and, even knowing that there were puppets and muppets and all sorts of other creations involved, thinking that Jareth was the real magic of the film.

Even inspiring an amateur cosplay attempt by me and the Sister. 

The wold has lost a wonderfully creative spirit and my thoughts go to his family and friends who knew him in a way that the online world tries to lay claim to but will never understand. 

And, finally, the most fitting tribute I could think of.  Take it away lads:

&&Fin.

A Woman Is Helpless Only When Her Nail Polish Is Drying

That Time I Did My Own Gel Nails (And They Were FABULOUS)

As you may well know, dear readers, I was an avid nail biter from the age I discovered that I could nibble on those little suckers right up until approximately September 2014.

I had always hated the look of my chewed and damaged finger nails but I was never able to break the habit entirely.  There would always be some stressful exam or I would just be bored and pop! Off they would all come.

During those awkward teenage years I even tried to stop myself from biting by constantly gluing false nails onto the end of my fingertips.  This often ended in disaster (/hilarity) when the glue would inevitably get everywhere and I ended up gluing my knees together and my mouth shut.

Potentially the one time in history I was able to stay quiet for longer than five minutes.

Deadpool is my spirit animal.

In any event, I was able to kick the habit in 2014 and I haven't looked back since.

(For all those interested in stopping biting their nails, my trick was to apply Nu Nail Creme every time I even thought about putting my hands near my mouth.  Apply the cream and also grab a glass of water.  You'll soon forget all about the nails. If you are interested, the cream is very cheap and you can buy it from Boots in the UK.  The packaging looks like this:)

My hero <3>

Since having nails I have decided to treat myself to the odd manicure (which I have previously discussed in this blog post) and for Christmas my lovely Mother and Sister bought me a kit to do my own gel nails at home.

Proxima Direct UV lamp

I will admit that, at first, I was somewhat undecided about the gift for several reasons:-

1) I like going to a salon and having my nails done.  It takes the stress out of it and is a real treat to myself (even if it does cost an absolute bomb);

2) My right hand is never going to look as good as my left hand. Fact; and

3) I needed to buy more products before I could even give it a go.  This is not a gift; it's an obligation. 

But, I am nothing if not a positive person so I got straight on Amazon and bought all the necessary items to do my own gel nails at home. 

My Sister had already purchased a top coat, colour and base coat so all that remained was the acetone, alcohol wipes, cuticle oil and a primer. 

This is the brand I used as my sister had bought some bottles already. (This blog post is not sponsored by BlueSky.)

I decided to do one hand at a time because I just knew it was going to be harder than it looked so here are the steps:-

1. Wipe nails with cotton wool ball dipped in acetone to ensure nails are clean. (I had clear nail varnish on up to this point)

2. File nails into desired shape.

3. Apply Primer. This is a very thin layer which will help the gel polish 'stick' to the nail. Apparently.

4. Apply Base Coat. 

5. Cure for 2 minutes.  The Proxima Direct lamp which I have has a timer button and will switch off after 2 minutes so this is very handy!

6. Apply thin layer of colour.  I used Bluesky colour chameleon (no. 24) gel polish.  This polish changes colours at different temperatures! It's so cool. 

Sparkles and colour changing!? Yes please! (But, seriously, not sponsored by BlueSky)

7. Cure for 2 minutes.

8. Apply second thin layer of colour.

9. Cure for 2 minutes.

10. Apply Top Coat.

11. Cure for 2 minutes.

12. Wipe nails with alcohol wipes or UV cleanser to remove any sticky residue. 

13. Apply cuticle oil.

14. Repeat steps for other hand. 

Et voila!

Amazing gel nails at home!

And they change colour!!

So despite my initial reluctance to try out the present, it has turned out amazingly and I can tell I will be totally addicted. I have two other colours to try so hopefully I will use those soon.

In the meantime, I am going to see how long the gel polish lasts without chipping and how easy it is to remove (eek!). 

If any of you are thinking about doing gel nails at home, dear readers, I can definitely, definitely recommend it!

&&Fin.

If You Think Adventure Is Dangerous, Try Routine; It's Lethal

That Time We Made Some Predictions

Happy New Year, dear readers!

2016 is well and truly upon us and 2015 has been left in the dust.  I realise that over the holiday period I have been particularly rubbish with updates so I am trying to get back into good habits and good routine.

...by missing the first What The Buzz post of the year.

Ahem.

In any event, the start of a new year is always a chance for reflection and prediction. And rather than focus too much on the past year (dear readers, 2015 has been a whirlwind of an adventure I can assure you!) I thought we would cast our eyes to the future and make some deeply insightful predictions.

But not just for 2016.  That is far too mundane for All Those Books And Still Not Smart.

Let us cast our aspersions further into the future and, in hundreds of years, when this blog is found amongst the rubble (after the nuclear war, zombie apocalypse and inevitable insanity that will ensue when George R R Martin passes away without completing A Song of Fire and Ice), the people of the future will hail me as a Prophet with knowledge beyond her years.

...Maybe.

So here we go, I am now going to predict a list of things that the People of Tomorrow will find bizarre that we find very mundane - even routine you might say (not a tenuous link to the title AT ALL).

1. Waxing

Of any and all varieties.

How do they make it look so gentle?! HOW?!

I am a major fan of waxing - legs, eyebrows, bikini line you name it! But it dawned on me on the drive back from my latest appointment that it was just bizarre. I pay a lovely girl a princely sum to rip the hair from my follicles.  All in the name of beauty.

The People of Tomorrow will see this folly and laugh.

For when the nuclear winter sets in, the hairiest people will be the ones to survive.  And us hairless idiots will curse the day they ever invented the 'Brazilian'.

2. Brussel Sprouts

I personally quite like these mini vegetables.  Particularly in bubble and squeak. 

But I know plenty of people (weirdos) that force themselves to eat brussel sprouts over Christmas even though they hate them because it is The Done Thing. 

How could anyone hate these little guys? They're so cute!

The People of Tomorrow will not force themselves to eat things they do not like.

They will have developed food synthesizers that automatically inject the necessary vitamins and nutrients needed to live with receptors in their taste buds giving a realistic impression of eating. 

...or they just have a butt ton of Willy Wonka's three course gum.

Either way - food is obsolete. 

And brussel sprouts even more so.

3. Emojis

This will go one of two ways:-

a) Emojis are viewed as modern hieroglyphics and scholars spend lifetimes trying to figure out complicated phrases like

Turns out we are a very one dimensional generation...

or;

b) Emojis have replaced all meaningful communication:

Ah...young love...maybe?!

4. Plastic Surgery

Much like the lobotomies and electric shock therapy of the 20th century or when women used to visit doctor's surgeries for 'hysteria' (read as: sexual frustration), the People of Tomorrow will balk when they realise that we, as a race, are comfortable with the idea of slicing ourselves open and inserting plastic bits and bobs to enhance/shape and otherwise sculpt our physical appearance.  Liposuction, face lifts, lip plumpers will all be viewed with the same disdain by the androgynous People of Tomorrow who value personality far, far about physical appearance.

Spread love not war and all that other good stuff.

Hey! A girl can dream.

This in turn leads to sexuality no longer being a defining characteristic as the People of Tomorrow will fall in love with individual people and not a gender overall. 

Sexual relationships for the purposes of reproducing will be redundant as science will have advanced and perfected the pregnancy process so that it is no longer necessary to heave a sack of baby and goop around for 9 months in order to pro-create.  Of course, the People of Tomorrow fully appreciate that should people wish to continue this antiquated practice, they are more than welcome to. 

They just don't have to.

But back to plastic surgery...

The kind of operations people are undergoing fairly regularly haven't really been around that long and I always wonder whether there are any side effects later on down the road.  For example laser eye surgery - if I had my eyes done now, what would be happening in there in 50 years time?  Nobody could tell me because we haven't had the procedure available for that long. 

People are very quick to jump in and alter their bodies almost irreparably without really knowing whether there is any long lasting damage or latent side effects. 

Perhaps the People of Tomorrow will also share my concerns.

5. Justin Bieber

Hundreds of years into the future, Justin Bieber will be hailed as the mastermind musician of our time. 

Justin knows.

Justin will continue to rise through the charts and one day will be considered 'a classic'.  The People of Tomorrow will laugh at the blip in 2012-mid 2015 when Bieber was the butt of jokes and generally a hated public figure.  They will scratch their heads and wonder how this could have happened given his enduring popularity following the release of his fourth studio album 'Purpose'.

(I'm serious though, those songs are damn catchy. #guiltypleasure)

These are just a few of my predictions for the coming decades. 

In the meantime, for 2016 I foresee several holidays, Wilderness Festival, Comic Con and finishing Law School.

And that is quite enough for me to be getting on with for the time being.

&&Fin.