Life Is Either A Great Adventure Or Nothing

Day ?? - That Time I Booked Another Holiday

Before I get into my ridiculous spenditure I have to make a point about my dinner yesterday. I was freaking out because it's Sunday and we all know, dear readers, what happens on Sundays; everything closes. I didn't even have any milk. Well...none that wasn't expired and lumpy anyway. So I had no idea what I was going to cook for dinner but I managed to find some noodles and a jar of sweet and sour sauce. I chopped up my remaining vegetables (half a red onion, 2 spring onions, half yellow pepper, half red pepper, handful of sugar snaps) fried them for a few minutes then added the sauce and allowed to simmer whilst the noodles boiled. It smelled foul and I just knew it would taste even worse. I dished it up in the saucepan that I had used to boil the noodles because I wasn't going to get another plate dirty for this monstrous effort of nutrition.

Best. Meal. Ever.

Honestly, I think it's the nicest thing I've cooked since I moved over here. Even better than the vegetable curry I insist on having every other day. And I thought I had cooked too many noodles but I ate it all. Every last piece of vegetable. It was that tasty (or maybe I was just that hungry..hm). And this morning I went to lectures and came back to find that my room smelled of it and, far from it being that horrible morning after yuck smell, it made my mouth water.

Seriously. Left over cooking is the best.

Anyway, on to my apparently bottomless pockets.

As some of you may (or may not) know I have booked a long weekend to Milan because I have Fridays, Monday and Tuesdays off (at least I will in November) and why not travel whilst I'm on the continent. Besides it's a £28 round trip.

However, I have also now been persuaded to go to Faro in South West Portugal at the end of November. I jumped at the chance and then was reconsidering later.

Until I learnt where we were going to be staying.

It's called an eco-lodge and it looks amazing. The bed is below a window that looks straight up to the stars.

I have booked my flight.

I worked three jobs over the summer so I figure I can afford this since it's 30 euros for 3 nights and only costs 35 to fly there and back.  I literally cannot wait to go to this place. I have never been anywhere like this before and it looks incredible. The only thing I am worried about is that we might need to hire a car (kind of negates the whole eco thing) because it's a little out of the way and we want to explore.

Nevertheless I will return as a militant eco-warrier I'm sure.

So you better get your recycling up to scratch.

&&Fin

For Many, Immaturity Is An Ideal, Not A Defect

Day ?? - That Time I Posted A Bunch Of Random Stuff To Make Up For The Fact That My Life Is So Dull

So I haven't really done much in the last couple of days. I wrote up all my lecture notes but no one wants to hear about that. I have watched nearly the entire first season of Dexter (and also run out of all my food because I haven't been shopping but I'm sure the two are not linked). I had never watched it before, all I knew was the main character was a serial killer pseudo vigilante cop hidden beneath the guise of a forensic expert.

Now, I obviously like the show enough to have watched an entire series, however, I'm not completely in love with it and I wouldn't rave about it to my friends.

For one, Dexter's sister, Debbie, really gets my hackles up. Every episode she appears to be a whiny, oblivious tool. The actress is gorgeous and she does a great job portraying the sister who hates being emotionally distant from her brother but the writers make some of her lines so desperate and clingy. Like everything everybody does is a personal affront to her. No wonder her boss doesn't like her. Also, sometimes I get a really creepy non-sister/brother vibe coming from the two siblings. It's a bit incestuous and makes me feel uncomfortable.

What really makes me feel uncomfortable though is the interaction between Dexter and his long term girlfriend, Rita. She is a victim of domestic violence who suffered at the hands of her alcoholic, drug dependent (soon-to-be) ex-husband. The ex-husband is in jail for some of the series but gets released early which is a whole 'nother shed load of worms, my friend. But the thing that makes me so uncomfortable is when she's trying to become intimate or affectionate with Dexter. Dexter is not interested in the physical of the relationship because if he sleeps with her she will realise that he's 'empty' (this word is thrown around so much in the show I don't even know what it means anymore). But she's starting to get a bit more confidence and so she keepps throwing herself at him only for him to kind of push her away. And it's actually painful to watch. Here's an emotionally damaged woman throwing herself at someone who doesn't want to get physical with her and I just feel like it must make her feel even more insecure. I don't know. It's hard to explain but it is so awful to watch the two of them together. Rita is portrayed so well by the actress and I think that's what makes it so difficult to watch.

Another thing that really bugged me was one of the police men, Doakes, seemed to be in love with another man's wife then she died so now he seems to be chasing after Debbie. I know she's hot, but seriously? You move on that fast? And now he's all jealous about her psycho, prothetic junkie boyfriend.

One thing I do have to praise is the title sequence. My goodness, Digital Kitchen need to do every title sequence ever. The only reason I looked them up was because the opening scenes looked fairly similar to the titles in True Blood and, lo and behold, it's the same company. I think I would recommend the show just for them, honestly.

Despite all that, I still like the show because I like murder mysteries. It still doesn't topple the Mentalist or Sherlock Holmes but yeah, it's watchable.

As long as you don't mind a little fake blood every now and then. (/every other scene)

Now, onto more amusing things. I have a backless dress (yes, yes, it is sex on legs tyvm) so I need a backless bra otherwise the whole effect is ruined. Now, I, in a moment of haste and recklessness, forgot to pack the one I already owned when I moved to the Netherlands. So I had to buy a new one. For some unknown reason underwear and lingerie seems to be very expensive here or perhaps I am not shopping in the right places. Anyway, I found a substitute that would suffice until Mother could post my one to me.

In all fairness I think I bought it just so I could show you the pictures because it really doesn't do anything. At all. But I thought this might be vaguely amusing.

AHAHAA.

&&Fin.

Honour Among Thieves

Week 3 - That Time I Almost Lost Him

Shock, horror, gasp!

Someone tried to steal Hoj today.

Yes, dear readers, note the 'tried' of that sentence. The bad men/women/people were foiled in their evil plans! I discovered their foul plot when I went to unlock Hoj and lift him out of the bike rack.

And the front wheel fell off.

These evil fiends/crack heads/baddies had unscrewed the nuts on the front wheel in the hopes that they could take the frame and leave the front wheel behind (as is the done thing, or so I hear). It's almost like a taunting calling card: 'haha, I have your bike but here's the wheel so you can cry over it and have a proper burial.'

Anyway, they would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for my meddling bike lock. Which I wrapped around the frame, wheel and bike rack. With another lock on my back wheel.

Boo ya sucks, bike thieves.

Bring it.

Day ?? - That Time I Took Back Everything

My sister is 18 years old, off to Uni and dim.

She wanted to post me some mail and, instead of going to the post office to get a 60p stamp to send to the Netherlands, she decided to save some time because she had a First Class stamp in her pocket.

=/

So she posted the letter with a First Class stamp on it. When I discovered this I mocked her relentlessly on Skype in order to let it sink in how truly dim this was.

After all, she needs to learn the errors of her ways.

Anyway, 3 days later I received some post. I was very excited (as one is when receiving real, in the flesh post). Then I noticed the top right hand corner.

There was a First Class stamp staring innocently up at me.

I take back every bad word I said about my sister and the postal service. She is, clearly, a genius in disguise.

Very, very good disguise but still; genius.

Also, I have been keeping myself entertained this afternoon by ... well, I'll let you judge for yourself.

&& Fin.

The Supreme Irony Of Life Is That Hardly Anyone Gets Out Of It Alive

Day ?? - That Time My Luck Turned Sour Again

Why Today Was Not Great:
1) It didn't rain (as I had predicted it would not) but it wasn't sunny either.
2) The book shop only had 1 of the 3 books I needed
3) I paid full price to have some photos printed and then discovered I had online credit that would let me print 40 for free.
4) I napped for too long and now can't get to sleep.
5) I couldn't find any stamps with which to post items back to the UK.

&&Fin.

Tut Tut, Looks Like Rain

Day ?? - That Time I Regretted My Tight-Fisted-Ness

Woke up today and was greeted by the heavens opening before my very eyes. Still, this is the Netherlands so I was prepared with my ex-police water proof trousers (tres chic) and my mac in a pack for the onslaught of rain. My friend wanted to go to the shops before we headed into Uni (so didn't manage to have a cup of tea before we left) so we cycled over earlier than usual.

Just as we're locking up our bikes something occurs to me; it's Monday morning.

And, say it with me dear readers, Groningen dies for Sunday and Monday morning!

Of course it does.

So nothing is open. And now my friend is annoyed and wet. So we cycle to Uni as quickly as we can. When I describe the journey to you (full of perils, be warned) I am not exagerrating (much).

In Groningen the wind seems to not only be blowing the rain straight in your face but it also appears to be slashing at your bike sideways. The force is so immense that it either makes you drift towards the cars that drive along beside you or dangerously close to the pavement curb which, with the anorexic wheels I have on Hoj, would send me head over arse rather effectively. If you manage to hold on during this battering, the rain is the next foe to face.

It doesn't fall downwards.

It whips at you from (seemingly) all directions. But it particularly likes smacking you around the face for a bit. Now, as an avid glasses wearer, this was especially menacing for me. Anyone with an optical affliction will sympathise, I'm sure. Not only am I blinking owlishly every few seconds but my glasses are slowly becoming useless because of the amount of rain they seem to be attracting. Then, as if blurred vision isn't bad enough, the glass starts fogging up.

It's like being stuck in quick sand; it's slow, painfully obvious what's going to happen and there's nothing you can do about it. The more you swipe and struggle the quicker your situation deteriorates.

Eventually I had to take them off completely and just follow the weave and wobble of my friend's bicycle wheel in front of me.

To make matters worse, when I arrive I realise I have not applied waterproof mascara and now resemble Alice Cooper; The Transvestite Years.

Wonderful.

I also discovered that, whilst I had assumed my mac in a pack would be waterproof (name kind of hinted that it might be) it is, in fact, not. Not at all. My arms, chest, stomach and all the areas in between were completely soaked. But, thanks to my ex-police trousers my bottom half remained perfectly dry. Huzzah!

Sat through my four hours of lectures and then went to buy a REAL raincoat. One that might man up to the fearsome weather of the Netherlands.

Of course, by the time I exited the shop and cycled home it was no longer raining.

But, then again, we all knew that's what would happen anyway, didn't we? Who wants to take bets that tomorrow it's bright sunshine?



&&Fin

All Women Are Flirts, But Some Are Restrained By Shyness, And Others By Sense

Day ?? - That Time We Played Connect The Freckles

Today was a day without lectures so, instead of enjoying the lie in possibilities I decided to get up early in order to acquire a washing machine. In our building there are 300 single rooms and, at the moment, only 4 washing machines that work in the laundry room. So it is a rare opportunity when you get to do your washing and dry it as well.

I was spoilt because I got three loads washed and dried including my towels and bed sheets.

Bliss.

I also went and did some food shopping, hoovered my room, tidied my closet and did some research for my Anthropology project. All in all it was a very successful day.

I got a call in the evening from my friend asking if I wanted to go out with the group of lads that she had been talking to (and I had briefly met) the day before when we went into town. It sounded like a laugh so I agreed and then she said that we should pre-drink with them which, again, sounded like a laugh. It was only afterwards, when I sobered up and thought about it, that I realised that agreeing to go to this guy's apartment in town, just the two of us, probably wasn't really that clever.

But hey ho, it's a happy ending so it's all fine.

We had to get a taxi because we had no idea where we were going and, when we arrived, we couldn't find the front door. We stood outside where we thought we were meant to and had to phone the guys to come get us. Instead of walking all the way around the building they just whistled at us (yeah, like dogs) so we could find the entrance.

Once inside the drinks started flowing and we played ring of fire which, of course, my friend and I were doing horribly at because we kept forgetting rules like snake eyes and question master. We had also made the horrible mistake of making each other our mates so that when one of us screwed up the other had to drink too.

And we screwed up a lot.



We had a really good time in the apartment and, when the booze started running out, we decided to head into town which was like 3 minutes from where they lived (made a nice change instead of the 40 minutes where we live). When we got there though it was really crowded and hot and I think we'd all been having a better time at the house because it was easier to talk and drinks were cheaper! So we headed back to the apartment and just kind of collapsed into any available seats.

Here is where the drunkeness kicked in.

One of the guys says he wants to connect my freckles up. I think he's joking (people say it quite a lot) but he picks up a biro and starts joining the freckles on my arm up into some weird, box like pattern. Then the other arm. Then, there's me in a backless dress, and he sits me in front of him to join up the ones on my back.

Then he bit me. Like, actually properly bit me. Not a nibble or anything sexy. It hurt.

Then he decided to carry on with the freckles on my legs and stop with the biting. When I'm finally a human doodle we all decide it's time to go home and get some sleep because it is nearly 4 in the morning.

We say goodbye (discover someone has stolen one of the boy's bikes) and head home. It's only when I'm crawling into bed that I realise I'm not going to be able to scrub the pen off my back because there will be places I can't reach.

However, the guilty party did offer to give me a hand if I needed one.

What a gentleman.

&&Fin.

Brush My Teeth With A Bottle Of Jack

Day ?? - That Time I Was So Lucky I Could Have Kissed Someone

It appears, dear readers, that the Gods of Fate and Fortune have decided to bless me.

As we have all heard, Hoj was in the repair shop over night because Dutch bike mechanics can't tell the time in English. I needed Hoj for 8.30 the next morning and so was more than a little miffed that I would have to walk to Uni because the weather had been less than pleasant for the last couple of days.

Lo and behold, when I awoke..well, I'll let my photos do the talking.








Yes, the sun was shining and the walk was glorious. I was early so I even had time to go and buy an apple for breakfast. I had my first International and Comparative Criminology lecture and it was amazing. If I could fall madly in love with a subject, have a whirlwind romance, get hitched in Vegas and produce dozens of cute little baby subjects, I'd sacrafice all my morals and sleep with Criminology on the first date.

That's true love.

I also got Hoj back from the bike shop and he is all better (thank goodness)! I don't know what I'm going to do when I have to leave him in Groningen when I return to the UK.

Warning you now: there may be tears.

I had a corridor meeting at 8 in the evening to formally go over some of the rules and to discuss who was going to do kitchen duty on the different days. I finally met the rest of my hallway and discovered that there was a German and a Ukrainian living down the hall that I had never even seen before. Always good to know you've had invisible neighbours for the better part of 3 weeks.

Went out in the evening for an ESN party entitled 'I'm from Holland where the **** are you from?!'

Charming.

Most people were dressing up in their country colours but I couldn't find anything to resemble the Union Jack or ol' Georgie boy's cross so I decided to opt for wit instead.

I donned a black and white dress with black heels and had a purple tie around my neck.

At first it was 'pale and interesting' then, upon evaluation, I realised no one would guess that in a million years so I went as non-discrimination and the purple was the show the blue and red of the Union Jack mixed together.

I think everyone could tell it was a fairly poor attempt at pretty much anything so people didn't comment on my outfit.

I didn't drink in the club because the drinks were quite expensive so I had a fun (though painful on my feet), alcohol free night. This worked in my favour because I had Energy Law at 9am the next morning.

Turns out that not drinking? Yeah that's actually a really big help in getting out of bed in the morning. Who'da thunk?

&& Fin.

A Crown Is Merely A Hat That Lets The Rain In

Day ?? - That Time I Got Really Wet And Had A Melt Down (no pun intended)

Sometimes I feel like my life is one very long, very unfunny punch line.


I have been waiting for a package from my mother for a few days because it contains waterproof clothing but I have been lucky with the weather (very unprecedented let me assure you) so it wasn't too much of a worry. However, as the black clouds of winter start to roll in over the Netherlands I became more eager for signs of this packages arrival so have been checking my mailbox every few hours for any post to no avail.


Anyway, this week Hoj has been making very strange, very unnerving noises. In my attempts to figure out what was wrong with my poor, bipedal friend, I managed to rip off part of the rear wheel guard and then the inner tubing that helps me to balance.


This did not eliminate the embarassingly loud noise of rattling every time I pedalled.


After a couple of days my friend pointed out that my tyre appeared to be very flat.


It was, in fact, as flat as a pancake. And not one of those scotch pancakes that has a bit of substance. I'm talking a crepe. Yeah.


So it turned out I had been cycling on the metal part of the wheel for about a week. And, worse still, was the fact that Hoj had been screaming in agony for the better part of a week. The poor thing.


So, anyway, I took him to the bike shop today to get it sorted. The man said to come back at 6.30, which struck me as odd considering Groningen (well..anything vaguely usesful) dies at about half 2 in the afternoon. But, regardless, I wandered home and vowed to return for my beloved Hoj at the aforementioned time because I would require his services at 8.30 the next morning to travel to Uni.


At 6.10 I dragged my tired, weary body out into the howling rain and gales of Groningen (read as medium-heavy drizzle). I walked all the way to the bike shop and discovered, to my unmitigated horror, that it was shut. Cold droplets of water trickled down my spine as I stared, with uncomprehending blankness, at the closed shop.


I walked all the way back to my house, my glasses now essentially useless thanks to the rain. My jeans and jumper were soaked through and itchy. On my way to the elevator I decided to check my post box.


I think you know what is coming, dear readers.


Yes, my package of waterproof clothing was indeed waiting for me when I returned.


If you'll excuse me, I'll be sighing heavily (with the occasional bout of fist shaking) for the next few hours or, perhaps, the foreseeable future.

Day ?? - That Time I Did Some Questionable Things

I have just spent a lot of money.

'On what?' I hear you cry.

Well, firstly I have booked my flights home for Christmas so I know I won't be stranded in the Land of the Nether Regions for the festive period (no matter how attractive that option may have appeared with exams looming in January). I have also booked a flight to Milan. Now, dear readers, I am not entirely sure why I have booked this trip for November 12th but, alas, I have. And therefore will take lots of photos with which to share the experience.

Finally, I bought a bunch of Monkey Island games from Tell Tale Games & Lucas Arts.

I am officially a nerd. But I also stumbled across this enlightening documentary so watch, enjoy, learn.

They Do Exist

&&Fin

A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility

Day 12 (? I'm losing count) - That Time I Almost Burst Into Tears In A Club

Saturday 11th September today and, yes, I did have a look on some of the memorial websites for 9/11 to pay my respects. There's nothing funny about that and I know this blog is normally lighthearted but I feel it should be mentioned because to completely ignore it would be a huge insult to a lot of people.

But, I don't want to dwell because this is still meant to be lighthearted/uplifting.

Today I managed to actually do some studying. My first real go at it since about May. It was so bizarre; I had to find my own handwriting again. I've decided to go for straight but loopy so we'll see how that works out. I'll keep you all updated on any changes made since I know this effects your everyday lives in a great way.

It got to late afternoon and my friend and I decided to order a takeaway. We did not realise how insanely difficult this would be.

Firstly, we had failed to get a takeaway the day before because Groningen seems to just switch off at 10 and we were looking for numbers at 10.15. But, today, we couldn't find any menus online with an English translation. Now, I know I've been in the Netherlands for nearly two weeks but that doesn't mean I can speak Dutch and it certainly doesn't mean I can translate a Chinese menu from Dutch to English.

Bah.

We ended up phoning one of the takeaways and just asking what they had down the phone. I don't think the woman on the other end could quite believe it.

Anyway, when it arrived (delivery boy was the sweetest guy ever) we realised that it was massive portions and we'd ordered way too much for two people. But we sat and wolfed it down and it was actually really tasty. It tasty really fresh and had lots of vegetables in it.

Stamp of approval, me thinks.

We were going out that night so after the obligatory episode of The Office, we decided to go and get ready because I needed a shower.

In my corridor there is a shower that is literally less than ten steps from my door and there is one that goes past 15 rooms at the other end of a long corridor. Someone was in the shower in the closest one so I went to the one further away (also it has two showers so you can spend slightly longer in there and not feel guilty). When I had finished my glorious shower I dried myself off. My towel is brand new and I haven't washed it yet so the absorbancy wasn't great but it was okay. Now, normally I walk back to my room (very quickly) wrapped in my towel and dress there but, instead, I discovered (the hard way) that skinny jeans are really not the best type of clothing to try and squeeze back on when you're still damp from the shower and realise that your new, sopping wet towel will not cover your modesty from the communal bathroom to your room.

I also made the executive decision to use the bathroom closest to me from now on to avoid embarrassing mishaps such as running down the hallway barefoot and blushing.

It seems as though a week is not complete here without me revealing myself to my housemates.

Anyway, we got ready to go out and I poured myself into an LBD and went to meet my friend. We got the bus into town (again, another epic fail at the bus station but I won't go into it) and went to our favourite bar Kasteel to have a couple of drinks while we waited for our other friends from Canada to arrive.

I should have realised that the towel incident had been a warning to stay inside.

We ordered our drinks and the bar tender (lovely guy) spilt them all over us. And when I say that I don't mean 'oh no! a little bit of alcohol has got on my hands' I mean 'what the hell?! my shoes are too slippery to keep on my feet and my legs are actually dripping.

Lovely.

He gave us our drinks for free and a free shot though so I couldn't really complain. And he felt so awful about it the poor guy. But then it transpired that there was some weird guy taking pictures of my friend and I (I jokingly said they were probably zooming in on her cleavage but she didn't find it very funny so I promptly shut my mouth after that) so we drank up and left to go to Rumba.

In Rumba it was two cocktails for one so we ended up getting tequila sunrise. I forgot how nice they are. We had a dance (had some requests played) and then decided to move on somewhere else where the music might be a little more dance-y. So off we trotted to &Zo. It got really hot really quickly so we had some shots and then went outside to cool off where, it transpired, that one of the Candian girls was really quite drunk and wanted some food.

We wandered off to our favourite pizza guy and ordered some food which was really, really good. Unfortunately, the Canadian was still feeling very drunk so she decided to go home and her very kind friend decided to take her to make sure she got home safe considering she wasn't walking in a straight line.

I was slightly concerned that they were riding bikes back.

They assured me that they would be fine and, anyway, when in Holland, right?

My friend and I went on to meet some other girls in a club called Kokomo. We had a laugh and a dance and then, it all went pear shaped.

We went up to sit at the bar for a moment because my feet were killing me and it was nearing 3am. Also there was some quite nice eye candy working behind the bar so we ended up people (person) watching for a while. Until my friend had a drink bought for her from a guy at the other end of the bar. She went off to say thanks and I sat there like a gooseberry.

Then, about 5 minutes later, this guy started talking to her but she moved away to the other side of me in order to discourage him.

This did not have the desired effect.

Instead, he leant right over me in order to talk to her. He was in my space so much that I actually had to lean backwards to accomodate him. I thought he might just say one thing to her and then move. No. That was wishful thinking; he actually started a conversation with her.

Supremely irritated I slid from my chair and told my friend that I was going to go home. She came with me because, dude, hoes before bros, aight?

So here's a few lessons that guys need to learn:
1) When you're trying to chat up a girl it's best to not piss off the friend that she's with.
2) When a girl moves away from you that's generally the clue to drop it.
3) Yes, contrary to popular belief, the spare does have feelings.

We ended up going home with my hormones going crazy until we had leftover Chinese food and watched X-Factor auditions. Felt much better at the realisation that if I get fat maybe it will cushion the insult of being considered invisible.

Holland is giving me complexes like it's my birthday.

&&Fin.

There's No IP Address Like Home

The internet died on me for a couple of days so this post is a few days mashed together.

Day 09 - That Time That I Literally Did Nothing

No lectures today so I had the entire day to do whatever I pleased.

As such I pretty much did nothing but laze around the house doing some reading.

&& Fin.

Day 10 - That Time I Found David Mitchell

European Union External Relations Law was first on the agenda. The class is quite dry but my Professor is David Mitchell's long lost brother. He has similar mannerisms and the same sense of humour and he's just so unbelievably cute that I want to take him on a picnic. Anyway, he's pretty much the only reason I'm going to stay in that class because EU Law bores me to tears but I think I can stomach it if he's going to be leading the way.

Decided to go out in the evening for the last ESN party to round up Fresher's Week. We went to Kokomo in a beach themed outfit so that was good fun. I think I had a little too much tequila but, other than that, I had a good night.

&& Fin.

Day 11 - That Time I Got Sick

Am slowly getting a cold and so my friend took care of me all day long and even cooked me dinner. What an angel.

Cannot type more as the sniffles are quite overwhelming me.

&&Fin.

All little girls should be told they are pretty, even if they aren't

Day 08 - That Time I Made A Great First Impression

Today was the first day of lectures but, in Groningen, the whole city shuts down on a Sunday (even all the big supermarkets, the restaurants and cafes etc.) and they don't tend to reopen until midday/early afternoon on the Monday so lectures on a Monday don't start until 11.

I think I should have been born Dutch.

I went to the first class which was Anthropology of Law. The professor was quite a young guy who was one of those teachers that likes to sit cross-legged on a table at the front of the class and have Deep and Meaningfuls with his classes. It looks like a really interesting class and I think he will draw out some interesting debates even though for the first session we just introduced ourselves and then he let us leave an hour early.

Because, you know, we only have 6 weeks to get this whole course in with just one two-hour lecture a week.

My second class was European Private Law.

I fear I may have made a grandiose error in picking this subject without reading the summary of what the course involves.

I appear to be learning about how Roman people invaded Germany and how that changed the way they transferred property.

I hated Property Law in my first year at University, especially transfer with deeds and titles, and now I've elected to take this module. That serves me right for picking subjects based on the days off I would have.

Lesson learnt.

When we got home we ended up cooking a vegetable curry and watching an hour of Bridget Jones' Diary on the TV. So glad we have a couple of English channels! The curry was actually really nice despite the fact that it was cooked in the kitchen that time (and cleaning supplies) forgot. It's really quite foul in there and none of the other students appear to clean up after themselves.

Plus, someone has stolen my cupboard. Boo.

Eventually my friend and I went to get ready for the 'Dutch' party organised by the University where everyone had to wear orange. After doing some tequila in her room we wandered off to get the bus because, alas, we still don't have lights on our bikes and it's a 60 euro fine if you get caught. And, you know what? I could probably buy another bike for that (a better one than my beloved Hoj I'm sure) so I'm not going to risk being stopped by the police.

We got on the bus and the driver informed us that we'd have to change buses at the Station Noord which we were fine with. We went to get on another bus and asked the driver if he was going to Grote Markt and he said he was so we sat down. But then, when we pulled away, we realised the bus wasn't facing the right way and we appeared to be driving out of the city. We looked at each other and were suddenly not quite so sure where we were headed. Thankfully, the bus went back on itself and we headed back into town but my friend still pressed the stop button too early. So the bus driver stopped and just waited.

And waited some more.

Until, eventually, I had to totter to the front of the bus and explain what had happened. To which he laughed and said he had seen the whole thing in his mirror and was waiting to see what we were going to do.

Bastard.

We made it to the orange party but it was so packed in &Zo that we ended up having to go outside every half hour or so because of the heat. I met my next door neighbour which was so surreal! He and a mate came to talk to Orty and I and he asked where we lived and then, when it turned out that was his building too, he asked what room and I realised he was in the one next to me. Score one for Amy with the nice Spanish bloke living next door.

We moved on to Rumba and decided to have a dance but we made an executive decision to go home when my friend had been grabbed for the umpteenth time that night and she'd had enough. She also had lectures at 9 and it was approaching 3 am so we called it a night and got a taxi.

Wherein the taxi driver informed me of this notion that all English girls are ugly. It had been mentioned to me twice before (in a roundabout way) but I had no idea about this assumption.

Is this what all foreigners think? That English women are the ugly bints of the globe? Is this a common stereotype for people outside of Britain? And where did this come from if it is?

I feel like I should defend my country and state, here and now, that I know plenty of absolutely stunning English women so back off world. Nyeah.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pretend that I haven't spent the whole morning in my pyjamas with my hair like a bird's nest and act like I'm very busy with important University work.

&&Fin

The Man Who Missed Australia

Day 07 - That Time We Crashed A Frat Party

Today we decided to actually get up and arrive early for the cultural sessions of our ESN tour to make up for the failure of the previous day. Afterall, we did shell out a princely sum to be involved in all the activities and, thus far, we had made little to no effort to get involved.

The sun was shining once again. I feel very lucky with this weather. Especially as I still need to buy a raincoat. I fear I will leave it too late and wake up one day to find that it's monsoon season.

We met our group in the Grote Markt and took more pictures of City Hall in the sunshine.





This is one of the biggest Frat houses in Groningen and it always looks insane! All the people are wasted and normally in fancy dress which is awesome. For lunch we headed to Bagels and Beans again and I had the salmon with tomato and pesto cream cheese on a sesame seed bun. I don't think pictures can quite convey how insanely delicious these things are but I took one anyway.



Anyway, we carried on to the Culture Centre and signed up for various activities including Dutch History and Egyptian belly dancing. Because...well, why not, right?



The Dutch History session was really interesting and funny but also had some really quite dark moments included. But it was informative and the guys delivering the presentation were very good. We learnt about the 'Man Who Missed Australia'. He was looking for the hidden, mythical southern continent and sailed right around it.



(I knew we shoulda taken a left at Albuquerque.)

Then we went out for dinner and a comedy show which was done by students of the University in a society called 'Stranger Things Have Happpened'. It was very similar in design to 'Whose Line Is It Anyway' which I love so I was cracking up. They were really very funny and I felt guilty that I was almost expecting them to be rubbish. But it was a very good evening.

After dinner we were about to head home and one of my friends had her bike stolen which sucked because she thinks they got her house keys too. It was horrible and I offered her my bike to ride home but she found someone from her house to walk with so she went to sort that out.

I went home and changed into a dress for going out later that evening. My friend and I went to catch the bus and missed it by about 6 seconds. Then we called a taxi. Then another bus turned up so we cancelled the taxi.

It was all very stressful.

When we reached the town one of my mentors texted me saying he had left the University organised party because the prices were really high so we ended up going to join him in the bar. It was tiny and called Kasteel and I think I'm in love. It might be better than The Castle of Comfort and that's hard for me to admit.

We got there and got free shots and drinks given to us by the bar tender. Ended up talking to some Dutch guys that taught us a dice game. It was awesome.



We then went out for pizza and exchanged numbers so that we could hang out again. We also promised the bar tender that we would come back and make it our regular hang out place. We went to get pizza and then figured we should probably head home because we did have lectures in the morning.

On the way to the taxi rank we walked past this club and heard an English song playing. My friend still wanted to dance so we agreed that we'd stop just for a couple of songs.

Turns out it was a private frat party and we were let in because they thought we belonged to a sorority. We ended up dancing and doing more shots and just having a brilliant time. They played Whitney Houston 'I will always love you' even though I asked for 'I wanna dance with somebody' but it was cool because about 20 Dutch guys ended up bellowing the words at me and my friend.



(Although with a friend that looks like this, I'm fairly sure they were just singing to her and I happened to be there as well. Going out with this girl is not such a boost for the old self-esteem, let me tell you.)



We left when fights broke out and glasses started smashing.

But still, it was a good night. And we amused the taxi driver so everyone had a good time.

Life is good in the Netherlands.

&& Fin.

My Watch Is A Little Shy So I'm Always A Little Late

Day 06 - That Time We Were Really Late For Everything

Woke up today to find the sun shining and it was another glorious day in the city of Groningen. I managed to finally get a picture of Hoj (Hunk 'o Junk) today so you can all be witness to my fabulous transportation device.



Rode into town to get lights for Hoj so that I can ride in the evening and bought a Dutch mobile phone so it's cheap to call my friends.We wandered around town and looked in some clothes shops etc.



The ESN activities for the day were sports so my friend and I figured we could probably be a little late as long as we texted the guides.

(In reality we actually only turned up for dinner but that will come later.)

We went to this amazing place for lunch called Bagels and Beans. Oh my God. I know where all my money will be going from now on.





So delicious.

By the time we got home it was late afternoon so we figured we would have a cup of tea and then head over to where they were playing sports. Turned out they actually needed us to turn up earlier because we were meant to be playing against other teams and they didn't have enough players.

Whoops.

I did feel bad but nobody wants to see me attempt sports. Really.

We went over for dinner and ended up chatting to a really nice Canadian girl so it was worth the trek on our bikes just for that. And it was really very sunny and lovely still.



&&Fin

Strangers Are Just Friends You Haven't Met Yet

Introduction Week Starts

Day 05 - That Time I Made Really Awkward Small Talk

No sign of my friend all morning. I texted her and facebooked her to no avail. After about 2 pm I started to get a bit worried that she might have collapsed somewhere in her beer addled state but she texted me at about 8pm to say that everything was fine and she was coming out to town.

Oy vay.

The rest of the day was fairly average. I went and bought slippers and a kettle. How much of an old lady am I?



Ah well, now I can have tea in my bed. I am so quintessentially English that it hurts a little bit.

I also went to change my courses today because I had too many Masters choices down. So now my course list looks like this:

Anthropology of Law I
European Private Law
Energy Law
European Union External Relations
International and Comparative Criminology
War and Peace I

So my timetable is thus:

Monday: 11-13 Anthropology of Law
13-15 European Private Law
Wednesday: 09-11 European Union External Relations Law
11-13 International and Comparative Criminology
Thursday: 09-11 Energy Law
15-18 War and Peace I

And that's it.

I don't know what I'm going to do with all this spare time I have because the library closes at 6pm! At home the library is open until the wee hours of the morning and in exam period it's open 24 hours a day. I don't know how I'm going to study when I can't get into a library and get books out because there is no way I am paying the extortionate prices of the books when I'm only here for only 4 months.

Anyway, after organising my classes (which I had to wait over an hour and a half to do) I went to my Introduction Week tour.

I feel like I have walked around Groningen about 7 times now. It was delightfully awkward as well because nobody in my group really wanted to talk that much. Huzzah. I love silence.

In the end I think people wanted me to shut up because I kept going on and on but I couldn't stand the lack of conversation.

We headed back to our tour guide's house and had dinner there which was really nice.



They call it frikandel and friets. I called it battered sausage and chips.

We went on a brief bar crawl but, because we went out so early there was no one around, so I ended up leaving early because I was so tired.

Plus tomorrow is a sports day so I will have the chance to further embarass myself in front of virtual strangers.

Oh, goodie.

&& Fin.

Temptation Is Thy Weakness

Okay so the last couple of days have been quite interesting.

Day 04 - That Time I Was On Babysitting Duty

We had a Law meeting to introduce the course and how to register for exams etc. It was over 2 hours long and we were sat in these really hard, wooden chairs. After biking it around town for the past three days that was not the most comfortable thing in the world.

Oh, and the Netherlands? Yeah, not a friend to the thong.

Anyway, then we went on a tour around some of the main buildings but it was absolutely pouring and some of us didn't have rain jackets or umbrellas. I was one of these unlucky souls of course. But, lo and behold, my knight in shining armour appears in the form of a friendly Canadian who offered me his rain jacket because he had an umbrella!

I love Canada.

So we had this tour (which, fyi, was really quite useless) and then, after a brief stint in the shops, we went home. On the way we decided that we wanted to go and explore the town or at least meet our house mates and, being English, that means the involvement of alcohol. So we went to buy tequila and bumped into two New Zealand girls who lived in the building. We invited them out but they were quite tired. I think they were just glad to see someone that actually talked to them!

My friend and I started drinking tequila in her common room and waited for people to join us.

An hour later we were still waiting for people to join us so we decided to just head into town and have a look around.

Oh, if only.

Instead, we wound up at the Rumba bar which is normally really packed with International Students. Surprise, surprise; it was. So we had a drink in there and ended up bumping into these Canadians again. I then met a girl from Australia who asked us to come to another club with her.

So off we went.

We got into Kokomo which is a beach themed bar with a speed boat as the DJ booth. We danced for a bit and then got dragged to the bar where the guys had bought 13 pints for 10 euros. I'm not really a big fan of beer so I said thanks but no thanks. My friend on the other hand challenged them to a chugging competition.

And won.

We all just stared at her like she was an alien after she'd downed her fourth cup. She just laughed and went back to the dance floor.

However, about an hour later things were not quite as funny.

She was stumbling about all over the place and guys were hitting on her and giving her loads of beer so I had to keep my eye on her. Eventually (after she fell off the stage) I decided it was time to go home before she actually hurt herself. So one of the Canadians and I carried her out of the club to the taxi rank. She scrambled into the backseat and slurred at the driver. He didn't understand a word she said and just looked at me so I put on my best Dutch accent and he smiled.

When we reached our house (after many repeated ramblings from the Drunken Queen) she couldn't find her money to pay the taxi driver. Thing was I didn't have any money because we weren't meant to be going out that late and we were hoping to either walk or bus it back. Eventually we paid the taxi driver and got inside the building.

Where my friend promptly head butted a closed lift door and fell on her arse.

Beautiful.

&& Fin.

It's Official

Today I had my welcome ceremony so I met up with a friend today who I know from home (she moved into my building yesterday) because I needed take her into town. When I rolled up on my bike she asked me how much I paid for it and then laughed. Poor old Hoj (hunk o' junk). I'm getting to be rather fond of him actually. Even if he is a bit rusty and his lights don't work (something else I'm going to have to sort out soon).

Anyway, I lead her to Martinikerk which is a huge, old church. It was where the first part of the welcome ceremony was held. It was very beautiful but it was hard to hear the speeches because of the echoes. I couldn't understand a word that the mayor was saying but I'm sure it was very welcoming.



Then we went down to the main Academy building.



It was kind of set up like a Fresher's Fair with booths of information and freebies. I got a lot of helpful brochures about Groningen and I also got my student ID card so I am officially a student of Rijksuniversiteit Groningen (RUG).



I signed up for the ESN (Erasmus Student Network) Introduction Week with pub crawls, belly dancing workshops, karaoke, film night, orange party and learning some basic Dutch. It looks like it should be a lot of fun but I have to wear a green wrist band for the next week and a bit which digs in when I'm trying to type or write.

The price I pay to be entertained.

Today was also a success because I finally went food shopping! Huzzah! I decided to have fajitas for dinner so I went to the kitchen to set everything up...only to find I had forgotten to buy oil. Felt like such a fool.

So I need to go food shopping again tomorrow and, I looked in the kettle in the kitchen and it's fairly gross, so I might have to buy a kettle as well. But then I can probably keep it in my room and have cups of tea in bed. Bliss. I also managed to bug my student manager for a pillow and a tea towel so that's another thing to tick off the to-do list.

I think my greatest purchase of the day was Earl Grey tea bags. How I have missed the sweet, simple pleasure of tea. <3 I also took a nice picture of a park on the ride home so I will share it with you now.



&&Fin.