How To Find Out If Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You? #12 Is Perfect!
This little gem popped up on my Facebook feed recently, dear readers.
Now I know all about lazy journalism (have you read What The Buzz lately?) but these articles are everywhere and, despite hating them, I still click on them! We've all seen them - the click bait articles that lure you in only to shovel the same old nonsense down your throat and you wonder why you ever clicked on the title in the first place.
Such was the case this time.
Although this article, for reasons that I shall make perfectly clear shortly, angered me more than most.
We all know someone or have been in a relationship ourselves which has resulted in one or both parties straying at some point. It's a sad fact of life that I can say this with absolute confidence.
If your partner does the horizontal (or vertical, or reverse, or any which way for that matter) mambo with someone else and you’re not okay with it (open relationships and all that in this day and age); that’s cheating.
(If we’re going to get really lawyer-y about it all: cheating could be defined as your partner engaging in a form of physical or emotional intimacy with another person that the reasonable onlooker would deem to be inappropriate within the defined and implied boundaries of your relationship. But we're not here to decide what makes a cheater, just how to spot them. Call me the David Attenborough of the relationship world.)
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| Who doesn't David? |
In any event, most of us can therefore relate to this article on a personal level and I know that people really do worry about their partners roaming.
So, instead of rolling my eyes and slinking off quietly, I am going to go through the points raised in this article one by one and provide some helpful commentary/criticism.
Because n’yeah.
Firstly, let's be clear:
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| Say it with me now... |
Now, on to the article itself:
Oh. Good. Lord.
Okay. Let's just dive right in, dear readers.
If your partner (be they male, female or anything else on the sliding scale of gender) starts dressing nicely...maybe they just want to look nice.
Did you ever think of that Witty Feed?!
Maybe they have been down the gym to try and be healthier and are feeling great. Maybe they have an event coming up and bought a new outfit. Maybe they are trying a new style. Maybe they saw something on sale and thought 'what the hell!'. Maybe they are trying to get YOUR attention. (Maybe put the book down, Teen Wolf.)
Maybe you are just a little bit paranoid.
Moving on!
I should point out before any eagle eyed readers comment on it that I haven't got my numbers wrong. This is the second point on the article even if it has #3 written above it.
Lazy journalism indeed.
I can understand why it might be concerning if your partner starts refusing to spend time with your group of friends but there could be lots of reasons for this. Maybe they are trying to be respectful of your time with your friends so you don't feel like they are constantly attached to your hip. Maybe they see it as the perfect time to spend time with their group of friends too. Maybe they were very friendly at the start of your relationship but as it has progressed they have realised that they don't have a great deal in common with your friends.
Maybe one or more of your friends hasn't been very welcoming and now your partner feels a bit awkward. Or maybe one of your friends has been a little too welcoming and that's equally as awkward for your partner so they have chosen to remove themselves from the situation to save any further embarrassment.
There could be lots of reasons and it doesn't mean that your partner is trying to get in with any new friends - maybe they relish a bit of alone time!
Yeah, the numbers, I know.
I can understand that this is not a great indication of an epic love story in the making - if your partner does not get on with your family then that is Not A Good Sign.
But what if your Mother is overbearing and overly critical of your partner? What if your Father makes weird, sexist jokes that make your partner feel uncomfortable? What if your Brother just grunts at your partner when they walk in the house? What if your partner is allergic to the 13 cats your family insist on adopting?
There are lots of reasons for avoiding family members but to jump straight to the conclusion that your partner is cheating on you is such a stretch they might as well call you Mr Armstrong.
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| 90s throwback FTW |
Talking of lazy journalism...I'm going to skip some of these because a) I'm getting bored of talking about all the problems in this article and b) the really, really awful ones are further down the list.
Maybe you are just a bit needy, Teen Wolf. Did that ever cross your mind?
Eurgh.
So many things wrong with this particular example.
Because obviously if your partner has anything else to do other than go to work or tend to your every whim and in equal measures needy and paranoid ego, then they are definitely cheating on you.
/sarcasm. Just to be clear.
...in direct contrast to the above point, your movements and other engagements should be None Of Their Business.
Obviously.
Because your behaviour is above reproach and well of course you have other things on your schedule besides work and returning home immediately.
I think I'm going to have a brain aneurysm by the end of this Blog Post.
I cannot stress enough how much the above actions are Not The Done Thing especially in an Adult Relationship.
Just...just no.
If you feel the need to do any of these things with your partner just call it quits because a) you clearly don't trust them at all so what do you really have?, b) they deserve better than being under your constant surveillance and c) doing any and/or all of the above is creepy as all hell.
Maybe this should be a guide on how to get a restraining order rather than finding out about a cheating lover.
Finally! Some actual sound advi- hang on...(ignoring 'talk to her on the face' for a minute)
"make her answer straightforwardly and honestly by forcing it on her."
forcing it on her
forcing it on her
...
The last piece of advice from the article is that if you can't work things out that you should "leave her without giving it a second thought".
Or maybe she will leave you (now suddenly pregnant) Teen Wolf since you have been rifling through her bags, looking at her phone, following her around and demanding all of her attention 24/7 (apart from when she is at work though, obvs, you're not a mental case).
What you just described there isn't a cheating lover - that's a manipulative and abusive relationship.
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| Any of these ringing any bells, Teen Wolf?! |
The thing that really got me about this article was the automatic assumption that your partner is Up To No Good. There is never a secondary explanation, there is never anyone else in the wrong, it is always your partner and you should be automatically suspicious of everything they do.
If your partner is buying new clothes, not coming straight home from work every day or if they don't seem to get on with your mates, they are not necessarily cheating.
Sure, if all of the above is occurring then maybe your relationship is fading out but it does NOT mean that there is a new mambo partner is the picture.
So, just calm down Witty Feed.
Or maybe she spotted you reading this Witty Feed article and realised that the strange man following her to her pilates class in the overcoat and hat was her despicable boyfriend and she's sick of it.
Maybe you are just a bit of a dick, Teen Wolf.
&&Fin.
