Maybe Christmas, the Grinch Thought, Doesn't Come From A Store

That Time We Rated Christmas Adverts

It is 5th December and I have already worn my favourite Christmas jumper twice.

Yes, dear readers, the time of mulled wine, mistletoe and mince pies has returned.   2016 certainly seems to have flown by.  It seems like only yesterday a 7 year old was telling me I looked 35.

Not that I'm still bitter about that or anything.

Obvs.

Harrumph.

In any event, Christmas is in the air - X Factor had the Christmas themed show, I have attended a Christmas fair and I have even wrapped Christmas presents.

Plus, I got to go and visit the Boyfriend on board his cruise ship when he came back to Blighty for a day.  So turns out Christmas wishes do come true.

Yeah I know. That was too sickly sweet even for me.

Not to mention our television screens have once again become the very public battleground for the annual war for the best Christmas ad.

I think we will all agree that John Lewis have had the edge for the last few years which all started with The Long Wait and a little boy who could not wait to please, please, please get what we wanted and appears to have ended (for me) with Monty the amorous penguin.  (Sadly, the Man on the Moon did not make a particularly strong impression on me last year - sozlol).

However, other companies have certainly upped their game in recent years.

In light of this, I thought it only appropriate that we go through and rank the current gladiators stepping up to do battle this year.

Since we have mentioned them already, it seems only fair that our first entry is this year's John Lewis ad:

5. Buster the Boxer - John Lewis

This year's John Lewis offering was the rather sweet tale of Buster the boxer wanting to jump on a trampoline.

And...there isn't much more to it than that to be honest.

The woodland animals are cute in an overly CGI'd kind of way and the music is the melancholy leading to uplifting score we've come to expect from John Lewis.  But there was just something that didn't quite click for me.

I don't know what it is but it just doesn't seem on par with some of the John Lewis adverts of years gone by.

Although this is possibly the best parody I have seen since Cassetteboy vs The Bloody Apprentice.

Yeah...reckon they would have been higher up the list if the Trump/Clinton version was the official advert.

4. Home for Christmas - Waitrose

And in at number 4 is John Lewis' sister company: Waitrose.

This advert frustrates me because there is a lot I'm willing to do for a good mince pie (watch it, now!) but this is just taking it to extremes! Plus, points are lost because when I first watched this advert I thought the gruff sailor man had actually stamped on the robin.

And we all know I'm ridiculously jumpy so nasty little shocks like that are Not Appreciated.

Not to mention what is that crazy kid doing wasting good, Waitrose mince pies on the bird table?! I have watched birds eat worms and this kid is chucking out a whole mince pie?! And looks to be replacing it every day?!

Do they not realise how expensive Waitrose is?

And how 'experts' have predicted that the price of the average British shopping basket is set to triple following the fall out from Brexit?

Not still bitter about that either.

Harrumph indeed.

3. The Greatest Gift - Sainsburys

Ah, Sainsburys.

This is an impressive work of stop-motion animation and therefore deserves a fairly high spot on the list.

There is something very British about this advert - is it the soft voice of James Corden? Or taking the proverbial Michael out of our unreliable train services? Or the awkward wedging in of the 'that's so 2015' twerking?

In any event, it looks great, sounds great, includes an amazing cross-section of society and has a great message for the Christmas holidays.

...Or does it?

Whilst I wholeheartedly agree with the message that the best gift people can give is their time (that fact that I'm Very Poor as you all well know has nothing to do with this sentiment) and spending quality time with friends and family is what Christmas is all about, Sainsburys don't seem to practice what they preach.

Sainsburys will be open Christmas Eve, Boxing Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day and the following bank holiday.

Turns out the greatest gift you can actually give this year is super discounted turkey on December 26th according to Sainsburys.

Boxing Day sights: poor university students as far as the eye can see...

Boo, Sainsburys.  You lose points for this.

2. The Sing Song - TK Maxx

Well, if this week's Apprentice episode taught us anything it is that British people love anything random.

More like Lord Sugar has lost his mind.  Seriously, he has to pick his business partner from this sorry bunch?! (That's another Blog Post I suppose.)

TK Maxx has possibly the most random advert out there.

It's not warm and sentimental.

Or humorous and light hearted.

No; it's just...bizarre.

But it still brings a smile to my face when I see it.

And if you haven't done the claw hand clap at the end of the advert then you are Wrong.

1. Christmas with love from Mrs Claus - M & S

Now this has everything.

Warring siblings, an old happily married couple, a cute dog, a sad and untimely loss, gadgets, a sassy heroine, a secret only the audience knows, a happy ending and those glorious looking mince pies not left out for the birds.

Plus bonus points for 50 Shade of Red.  I see what you did there you saucy minx, Mrs Claus!

It's a winner in my eyes.

The only thing missing was a cheeky wink right at the end but I suppose we can't have everything now, can we?

This is my number 1 because I am only slightly not ashamed to admit that the first time I saw this advert, it brought a tear to my eye.  It feels really Christmassy, it features The Big Guy himself in a non-conventional way and feels modern and traditional at the same time.

This is a really subjective list, obviously, and I'm sure that many of my dear readers will have conflicting opinions but I think we can all agree that no Christmas advert list would be complete without the classic:

NOW I'M FEELING CHRISTMASSY.

Ahem. Or whatever.

Now some of you keen eyed readers may have noticed that Tesco is conspicuously missing from this list.  Tesco did not submit one big Christmas advert and have instead opted for several shorts featuring Ben Miller and his long suffering Tesco wife Ruth Jones.  Clearly, Tesco did not have the big budget that the other supermarkets managed to rustle up.

Maybe Tesco's kids have been leaving Waitrose mince pies out for the birds and now they can't afford big budget adverts.

Who knows?

Anything is better than the garbage Very.co.uk have vomited out this year.

Call it a poor man's 'The Long Wait' or what...

Eurgh.  I think that advert just gave me cavities.

Finally, honourable mention goes to Lidl for their rather sweet Kevin the Carrot ad:

I rather liked this one but the reason it didn't make the top list is because it felt too similar to Sainsbury's advert from 2015 about Mog's Christmas Calamity involving a rather clumsy feline.

Still, who can argue with the calming voice of Jim Broadbent?  He is one of the few people in this world that could make a poem about a carrot feel enchanting and whimsical.

Although, how I will eat my Christmas veggies now, I do not know.

Thanks, Jim.


Anyway, hopefully this Blog Post has put you in the Christmas spirit (even if we have just ripped the Christmas ads to pieces).  And let's just hope we can get through this holiday period without getting too bored of the same 5 adverts being repeated over and over again on TV.

Although if they want to just play Clinton/Trump on repeat that would be fine with me.

&&Fin.

I Think That, If The World Was A Bit More Like Comic-Con, We'd All Be A Little Happier

That Time I Was Green For Two And A Half Days

What The Buzz: #mcmLDN16

For those of you not familiar with the above hashtag, this week is all about the MCM Comic on in London.

Not only is this trending on Twitter but I also got to attend for the third time.

And. It. Was. Epic.

So this Bank Holiday Monday we are going to take the opportunity to write a Blog Post combining a trending topic and a personal experience.  And hopefully it will be less of a bodge job than my normal Monday Blog Posts.

For this year's Comic Con, my sister and I decided to tap into our love of musical theatre and my love of body paint.

Can you guess who it is yet?

Elphaba and Glinda from Wicked!

And whilst I still have some green body paint in some interesting places (namely the inside of my ears), we had an amazing time.

Once again we found Comic Con to be very busy, very loud and very friendly. Despite turning everything I touched green (like the bad kind of Midas), I did have some requests for hugs and we had lots of requests for photos which was lovely.

Here are some of my favourite cosplays that we bumped into:

From Under Tale

Balloon!Vader

A Misbehaving Oompa Loompa

Praise the Sun!

There were loads of other amazing cosplays and there was so much to look at that I unfortunately neglected to take many photos. Like at all. All of the above pics have been shamelessly pinched from the MCM Expo facebook group so full credit to the actual photographers* for taking pictures whilst I wandered around gaping at everyone.

Another interesting find at Con was Andrew Lee Potts who some of you may remember from Primeval.

...or not, as the case may be.

If you are not familiar, Primeval was an ITV show following a team of scientists and various dinosaur expert misfits (including Hannah from S Club 7) investigating temporal anomalies across the UK through which prehistoric (and then highly advanced futuristic) creatures enter the present.

Following three fairly successful series (and several attempts at fanfiction...-ahem-) I was pretty invested in the show.

So you can understand my pain, dear readers, when ITV announced that the show was to be axed and a fourth season would not be happening.

This was Not Okay. Not least because my favourite characters (Abby and Connor (Hannah and Andrew)) had been left in the Cretaceous period, stuck up a tree with no way of returning home.  How could I ship them if they were left up a tree for the rest of time?!

So I took matters into my own hands.

On the Livejournal (which we have previously discussed) fan page we discussed ways to contact ITV and convince them that Primeval could not end.

All 5 of us in the fan group (well how big did you think it was going to be?!) decided that the best thing to do would be to send Protest Dinosaurs.

You read that correctly.

We had a template sent to us and we were to write on it the reasons why Primeval should not be cancelled.  I'm pretty sure I was the only one to a) actually do this and b) take the brief to a whole new level.

In order to make as many of these things as possible I enlisted the help of Sammy Ay (who we've already met and has been putting up with me and my BS for years) and Hanny Vee (who has the most adorable baby that when I met him for the first time ever I could not stop kissing his head.  He did not enjoy it. Sozlol.)

These two muppets angels are used to my ridiculousness and so agreed to assist as long as we were allowed to do the dinosaurs in the sunshine.

When they walked out onto my decking I have a feeling they may have wished to re-think the whole thing.

'Writing on paper dinosaurs' had become 'dinosaur related arts and crafts afternoon'.

I had colouring pens, I had glitter, I had magazines to cut out. I had The Works (see what I did there? Haha...puns.)

And bless their little hearts...they did good.

These all got sent to ITV (I'm genuinely not joking now) and within a few weeks I got a letter back from ITV saying thank you for our protest dinosaurs!

Lo and behold...in September of the same year, it was announced that Primeval would return for a further two series.

You. Are. Welcome UK (and Hannah and Andrew and the rest of the cast).

...2 series which I, subsequently, failed to watch.

But anyway! Back to Comic Con of this year....

There was Andrew Lee Potts in all his glory (promoting Wireless his web series) and my sister was urging me to go over and tell him all about the Protest Dinosaurs.

And I paused.  I stood in the middle of an aisle in Comic Con (not a popular decision I will add), in green face paint and thought...I'm going to look like an absolute nutter if I go over and talk about Protest Dinosaurs.  He may actually have me removed from the Expo.  Especially if I try and show him my facebook album of said dinosaurs.

So I totally chickened out. Instead, we wandered off into the distance to look at the vast sea of Pop! figures and Protest Dinosaurs were firmly pushed out of my mind.

But it was nice to see him from afar anyway. (He looked well so clearly has enough money to be eating and things so doesn't need my help securing any more work for him. Although maybe I should have asked for my cut of the profits from season 4 and 5.)

...and that's all folks! Thank you so much to all who attended #mcmLDN16, we are SO excited to come back in October! pic.twitter.com/BAkis9aDiL

— MCM Comic Con (@MCMComicCon) 29 May 2016

Look out for Xena the warrior princess in October.

Or Shrek as I have a lot of green paint left over.

&&Fin.



* Sorry that I couldn't give the photographers full credit but some of these are reposts etc so I am not sure who the pictures actually belong to.  If you know, please contact me and I will edit this post.

Sex Without Love Is As Hollow And Ridiculous As Love Without Sex

That Time Twitter Suffered From A Bad Case Of The TMI's

What The Buzz: #NewCarryOnMovieTitles

It has been too long, dear readers.

My apologies for that but it has been my summer holibobs (read as: one week off from work in which I hope the sun will shine but, in fact, the weather stays better at home than abroad and I pout about wearing jeans instead of my horrendously short shorts).

More on the summer holibobs later.

This week I have actually been looking at two hashtags; the first being #NewCarryOnMovieTitles (pretty self explanatory following the announcement that this franchise will be returning in 2016 after a 24 year absence) and #ThingsIYellWhenICum.

Sid James knows it.

...yes.

The reason this Blog Post is not dedicated to the second hashtag is because a) surely there is only so much you can really say about the hashtag, b) my fingers feel a bit dirty even typing it and c) my Mother reads this.

However, because I care deeply about entertaining my readers, here are some of the better ones for your perusal.

#ThingsIYellWhenICum AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMM

GONNAAAA SWIIIIIIIIING

FROOOOMMMMM

THE CHANDLIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR

— lee (@derNullmeridian) 17 May 2016

#ThingsIYellWhenICum
"CAN YOU FEEL IT MR.KRABS" pic.twitter.com/uC05uABgCj

— ugly boy (@4AMJAY) 16 May 2016

10 points to Gryffindor!
#thingsiyellwhenicum pic.twitter.com/WtN2mdL3R3

— David Armstrong (@tiggtag) 16 May 2016

#ThingsIYellWhenICum omg I'm gonna come
I'M COMING

OUT OF MY CAGE AND I'VE BEEN DOING JUST FINE

— Derek Nelson (@ProdigyNelson) 16 May 2016

And this one made me laugh:

#ThingsIYellWhenICum IM DIRTY DAN

— tess (@TRILLTESS) 17 May 2016

Well, don't say I never give you anything, dear readers!

Anyway, back to the actual hashtag for this week: Carry On films are making a return!

Ooh, matron!

 Very exciting stuff indeed.

And despite the first title being leaked as Carry On Doctors (back to bed pans and surprise thermometers, I'm sure), the Twittersphere were keen to provide some suggestions of their own which seemed to overwhelm Jonathan Sothcott (producer of the new films and CEO of Hereford Films which is behind the project).

Totally overwhelmed by all the messages about @carryonmovie - I promise we'll do it justice!

— Jonathan Sothcott (@sothcott) 17 May 2016

It has been confirmed that two movies will be produced (and presumably more will follow should they be a commercial success) but, sadly, Dame Babs Windsor DBE will not be making a return (which also means her nipple tassles won't be dusted off for another spin).  Cast have yet to be announced but it looks like the producers are after new, young, British comedic talent rather than impersonators of the original cast.

So stop practicing your Kenneth Williams' faces in the mirror.

No, really.

Stop it now.

Alright, Blue Eyes, calm down.

In any event, Mr Sothcott has confirmed that Carry On Doctors is not a remake or an 'attempt to reinvent the wheel' but it does seem like a safe premise to start with.

And, to think, we could have had such titles as:

Carry on items can be stored in the overhead bins #NewCarryOnMovieTitles

— Dan Jordan (@danjordan) 17 May 2016

Carry On Rehashing Long Dead Movie Franchises #newcarryonmovietitles

— James Cook (@jamesecook) 17 May 2016

(Ouch.)

#NewCarryOnMovieTitles Carrie on bleeding pic.twitter.com/NCJ1s4V52G

— neilneil orange peel (@kearns_neil) 17 May 2016

Carry On Working Until You Die Because The Tories Will Never Let You Retire #NewCarryOnMovieTitles

— Waldorf Sixpence (@WaldorfSixpence) 17 May 2016

...on second thoughts, given the public's track record with naming things, maybe we were better off leaving this one to the professionals.

...too soon?

&&Fin.

Perhaps The Less We Have, The More We Are Required To Brag

That Time We Delved Into The World Of Kanye West (Brace Yourselves)

What The Buzz: #OutBoastKanye

Well, dear readers, the hashtag really speaks for itself this week on What The Buzz.

The name Kanye West has now become somewhat synonymous with 'douche bag'.  The man has spurred an entire meme about being an arse, for goodness sake.

The awkwardness of this moment is burned onto the back of my eyeballs.  Still makes me cringe!

I remember a time (in the distant early Noughties) in which Kanye was pumping out musical hit after hit and seemed to have the golden touch.  Diamonds from Sierra Leone, Gold Digger, Touch the Sky, Stronger. 

Kanye and his shutter shades were big news in the UK.

Remember these? If not, you are far too young to be reading this Blog and isn't it past your bedtime?

In a somewhat ironic twist of fate, the downward spiral of public opinion seemed to reflect the rise of Kanye's fame.  Unfortunately, this level of fame brings intense scrutiny so, as a person in an extremely powerful position, obviously Mr West was very careful about what he said to the press and during interviews...

Really? ...the greatest?

I just...there are no words. Literally.

This man is now a father.  Let that sink in for a minute.

K.

Obviously a very modest and humble man stands before us.

But some people have labelled KWizzle as having a 'God-complex' (whuuuuut?!).  And the Twittersphere is always keen to have a bit of bantz at the expense of someone famous.

Here were some of my favourite boasts to out boast Kanye:

#OutBoastKanye
I've got an 8 slice toaster.....well it's a grill but same thing.

— Steven (@steve_d24) February 15, 2016

I haven't bothered claiming back my PPI even though I get several phonecalls a day telling me I could #OutBoastKanye

— Neil Dagley (@NeilDagley) February 15, 2016

Sometimes I buy a packet of Frazzles even if I already have some Frazzles #outboastkanye

— Paul Moped (@paulmoped) February 15, 2016

Yeah, well I once got Shakira's hips to tell a lie. #OutBoastKanye https://t.co/AmWBsf013O

— Louis Karsenbarg (@LouisKarsenbarg) February 15, 2016

I cut a pepper once and found a smaller pepper growing inside #OutBoastKanye

— Andrea G (@Andrea_G22) February 15, 2016

I can smile #OutBoastKanye pic.twitter.com/dSmrxW2xYl

— St Peter (@stpeteyontweety) February 15, 2016

And as for my boast?

I can go to Nandos in relative anonymity. Bliss.

Still no smile? You are in Nandos. Ed Sheeran and Example wrote a goddamn song about how much they love this place.

&& Fin.

Words Are Memes That Can Be Pronounced

That Time We Talked About The Latest Online Plague Trend

What The Buzz: #DontBeLike

First things first, I have to say thank you to all you lovely readers - we reached 2,500 views this week! Thank you, thank you to everyone who has read The Blog and hopefully cracked a smile at the various antics detailed within.

You all rock.

And this week we will be looking at the stick figures that took over Facey B.

'Be Like Bill'

...Or else.

This is Bill.

(Oh, God, now I'm doing it too.)

This is the meme that appeared and then spread like wildfire through facebook and twitter.  Whilst the meme was initially fairly harmless, it soon became a subject of ridicule (as every fad does eventually...does anyone remember how stupid the ice bucket challenge was?! Or makeup-less selfies? Yep...saving the planet there guys.  Good work.)

This meme did not stay popular for long. 

Err...that escalated really quickly.

This was a perfect example of how quickly a really simple idea can spread when embraced by enough people. And how, despite becoming a subject for mockery just as quickly, it was still EVERYWHERE.

How many of these memes have you seen in the past week? pic.twitter.com/IGTXIPsQR1

— What's Trending (@WhatsTrending) January 24, 2016

#prettymuch #stickfigureoverkill #belike #dontbelike pic.twitter.com/Bt2k9CPcEW

— catalina shoate (@shoatezoo) January 25, 2016

According to several credible news sites, the idea behind Be Like Bill was to call out annoying social media habits.

...yeah.

The irony is actually tangible.

Be Like Bill actually started in late 2015 but it has recently become a viral hit following the creation of several meme generators that allow people to put their own names/scenarios in the frame.  And of course generated the anti-Bill meme; Don't Be Like Bill. 

This will, undoubtedly, go the way of other social media fads but, for the meantime, the Interwebz has something new to hate/ridicule and that should satiate her for now.

I had to have a go myself (obviously) and the first few were so random that I realised people must be spending a significant amount of time re-generating their personal memes until they got one that was #relatable or at least somewhat appropriate.

If you want to have a go yourself the link is here.

And I totally won't judge you.

...until you post it on facebook.  And then you should really worry when I get around to doing my next friendship cull.

&&Fin.

If You're Going To Do Something Tonight That You'll Be Sorry For Tomorrow Morning, Sleep Late.

That Time We Discussed Corporate Responsibility (not as dull as it sounds. Maybe.)

A story that grabbed my attention this week: GourmetMurderKitchen.

This story involves Gourmet Burger Kitchen (affectionately shortened to GBK) and their latest advertising campaign and the subsequent backlash they faced.  Words aren't really going to do this justice so I'll post some examples:

I know what you are thinking, dear readers.

'Oh dear' indeed.

You will imagine the outrage, the uproar, and general middle-class fist shaking anger these adverts produced. (Which is totally justified, actually). People can take offence at pretty much anything on the Interwebz and I am normally the first one to offer a cup of tea, a pat on the knee and a reassuring 'now, now, calm down, dear, it's not as bad as all that'.

Except that, this time, it pretty much is as bad as all that. 

Possibly the worst Ad campaign of 2016 and we’re only in January. https://t.co/QNGqJyG7tl

— Jonathan Richard (@JonRichard) January 18, 2016

#gourmetmurderkitchen @gbkburgers Bravo to your marketing dept on an epic fail! Take a defining chapter of our generation and ridicule!! 😕

— Jason Bromley (@Dispeller79) January 17, 2016

I'll always remember the day I boycotted Gourmet Burger Company #gourmetmurderkitchen

— Mrs P (@missy_mcsquishy) January 17, 2016

Then of course come the photoshopped images (they really made this one too easy):

@gbkburgers cheers for making it even easier to ignore your food chain. Really bad advertising.#gourmetmurderkitchen pic.twitter.com/ZX1PwYD7fl

— Luna Unicorn Sminks (@this_sminks) January 18, 2016

Following the new adverts being plastered all over the place, including on the London Underground, people took to social media to rant and rave about the 'disgraceful' ad campaign. Vegans, vegetarians and meat eaters alike appear to have found the campaign in poor taste, not least because it has been revealed in the middle of Veganuary (I had to Google it too, don't worry). 

Really, GBK? Really?!

From a practical viewpoint, this campaign is even more baffling given that GBK caters for vegans and vegetarians so why they are trying to ostracize one sector of their client base I do not know. 

But, as if that wasn't enough to piss off most of the Internet, then came this:

Ah, the insincere corporate apology. The Law of Holes seems apt here. Rule #1: If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. But, no. GBK really likes that shovel and damn it all to hell if they don't want to make that clear!

Not only do they not appear to understand where the offence could have possibly come from but they get all defensive about actually providing vegetarian options.

....slow clap. 

Do they not realise that providing meat free options is pretty much standard in nearly all restaurants nowadays? What kind of idiot opens a restaurant and doesn't provide anything for the 4 million vegetarians currently in the UK? I mean, even Nandos has vegetarian options and they aren't being dicks about it, are they?

See how I avoided a cheesy pun about 'cocks' there? You. Are. Welcome.

Seriously, GBK, I think you need to sort out your marketing department. 

Speaking of...#TeamSociallyM is totally (probably) up for the challenge.

Then again, this one might have really been the final nail in the coffin for your vegetarian and vegan clients and maybe a few meat eaters too. Still, they say any publicity is good publicity, right?

Yeah, I reckon the Handmade Burger Company probably agrees with that right about now.

&&Fin.

If You Think Adventure Is Dangerous, Try Routine; It's Lethal

That Time We Made Some Predictions

Happy New Year, dear readers!

2016 is well and truly upon us and 2015 has been left in the dust.  I realise that over the holiday period I have been particularly rubbish with updates so I am trying to get back into good habits and good routine.

...by missing the first What The Buzz post of the year.

Ahem.

In any event, the start of a new year is always a chance for reflection and prediction. And rather than focus too much on the past year (dear readers, 2015 has been a whirlwind of an adventure I can assure you!) I thought we would cast our eyes to the future and make some deeply insightful predictions.

But not just for 2016.  That is far too mundane for All Those Books And Still Not Smart.

Let us cast our aspersions further into the future and, in hundreds of years, when this blog is found amongst the rubble (after the nuclear war, zombie apocalypse and inevitable insanity that will ensue when George R R Martin passes away without completing A Song of Fire and Ice), the people of the future will hail me as a Prophet with knowledge beyond her years.

...Maybe.

So here we go, I am now going to predict a list of things that the People of Tomorrow will find bizarre that we find very mundane - even routine you might say (not a tenuous link to the title AT ALL).

1. Waxing

Of any and all varieties.

How do they make it look so gentle?! HOW?!

I am a major fan of waxing - legs, eyebrows, bikini line you name it! But it dawned on me on the drive back from my latest appointment that it was just bizarre. I pay a lovely girl a princely sum to rip the hair from my follicles.  All in the name of beauty.

The People of Tomorrow will see this folly and laugh.

For when the nuclear winter sets in, the hairiest people will be the ones to survive.  And us hairless idiots will curse the day they ever invented the 'Brazilian'.

2. Brussel Sprouts

I personally quite like these mini vegetables.  Particularly in bubble and squeak. 

But I know plenty of people (weirdos) that force themselves to eat brussel sprouts over Christmas even though they hate them because it is The Done Thing. 

How could anyone hate these little guys? They're so cute!

The People of Tomorrow will not force themselves to eat things they do not like.

They will have developed food synthesizers that automatically inject the necessary vitamins and nutrients needed to live with receptors in their taste buds giving a realistic impression of eating. 

...or they just have a butt ton of Willy Wonka's three course gum.

Either way - food is obsolete. 

And brussel sprouts even more so.

3. Emojis

This will go one of two ways:-

a) Emojis are viewed as modern hieroglyphics and scholars spend lifetimes trying to figure out complicated phrases like

Turns out we are a very one dimensional generation...

or;

b) Emojis have replaced all meaningful communication:

Ah...young love...maybe?!

4. Plastic Surgery

Much like the lobotomies and electric shock therapy of the 20th century or when women used to visit doctor's surgeries for 'hysteria' (read as: sexual frustration), the People of Tomorrow will balk when they realise that we, as a race, are comfortable with the idea of slicing ourselves open and inserting plastic bits and bobs to enhance/shape and otherwise sculpt our physical appearance.  Liposuction, face lifts, lip plumpers will all be viewed with the same disdain by the androgynous People of Tomorrow who value personality far, far about physical appearance.

Spread love not war and all that other good stuff.

Hey! A girl can dream.

This in turn leads to sexuality no longer being a defining characteristic as the People of Tomorrow will fall in love with individual people and not a gender overall. 

Sexual relationships for the purposes of reproducing will be redundant as science will have advanced and perfected the pregnancy process so that it is no longer necessary to heave a sack of baby and goop around for 9 months in order to pro-create.  Of course, the People of Tomorrow fully appreciate that should people wish to continue this antiquated practice, they are more than welcome to. 

They just don't have to.

But back to plastic surgery...

The kind of operations people are undergoing fairly regularly haven't really been around that long and I always wonder whether there are any side effects later on down the road.  For example laser eye surgery - if I had my eyes done now, what would be happening in there in 50 years time?  Nobody could tell me because we haven't had the procedure available for that long. 

People are very quick to jump in and alter their bodies almost irreparably without really knowing whether there is any long lasting damage or latent side effects. 

Perhaps the People of Tomorrow will also share my concerns.

5. Justin Bieber

Hundreds of years into the future, Justin Bieber will be hailed as the mastermind musician of our time. 

Justin knows.

Justin will continue to rise through the charts and one day will be considered 'a classic'.  The People of Tomorrow will laugh at the blip in 2012-mid 2015 when Bieber was the butt of jokes and generally a hated public figure.  They will scratch their heads and wonder how this could have happened given his enduring popularity following the release of his fourth studio album 'Purpose'.

(I'm serious though, those songs are damn catchy. #guiltypleasure)

These are just a few of my predictions for the coming decades. 

In the meantime, for 2016 I foresee several holidays, Wilderness Festival, Comic Con and finishing Law School.

And that is quite enough for me to be getting on with for the time being.

&&Fin.