Here's To The Pilot That Weathered The Storm

Day ?? - That Time I Regretted Not Starving

Hello, dear readers.

I know that my absence in writing must have caused more than a few broken hearts but fear not! For I have returned with a vengeance.

The Tale of The Disconnection
Twas a cold Thursday eve
And the winter drew in
There was nought to do
But to sit and to sin.

A young girl was sat,
Her head in her hands,
For the internet was down
Along with her plans.

For she hoped she could watch
(As she was wont to do)
Some TV shows of hers
(There were more than a few).

But alas come the night
When the stars shone so gay
Her connection was gone
It had fluttered away.

Onward she battled
Through sever and gateway
But she turned to the vodka
So miserable was her day.

Then she partied all night
Danced till her feet turned blue
As she prayed that tomorrow
Her connection would be renewed.

All through Friday she suffered
Without book (face or lame),
Till she called the IT man
Such was her pain.

She knocked on his dwelling,
Filled with such dread,
For she had heard if you woke him,
He ripped off your head.

He opened the door,
She stifled a cry.
"What do you want?"
He roared with fee and with fi.

Calmly she told him
Her woes and her needs
He slammed the door in her face
And went about his dark, IT deeds.

A few minutes later,
And a few minutes more,
A muffled apology
Could be heard through the door.

"There's nought to be done."
He shrugged and he waved.
"Your internet's gone.
It cannot be saved."

Beaten, defeated,
The girl returned home
Where the only thing to do
Was to whine and to moan.

"Unhelpful wretch!
What on earth shall I do?
I have a project on Monday
And I'll miss Smallville too."

The weekend came
And the weekend went
She was ready to demand
A reduction of her rent.

In her hours of seclusion,
Cut off from the world
She managed to get through
An entire series of Gossip Girl.

But Monday came
And the IT man did too
"Turns out it's just your IPv6
It'll be as good as new."

The girl rejoiced
Her luck was finally in,
But her stomach lurched
When she saw IT man grin.

"Yep, reconnected
In a day or three.
That's what you get
For awakening me."

He left with a chuckle,
The girl still without power
So she sat down and counted
Every minute, every hour.

Lucky for her
(And her sanity too)
She was reconnected Tuesday
And she had much to do.

There were programs to watch
And emails to write
And secrets to keep
Of the events of Sunday night.

For nobody knew
That the girl was a whizz
That she hacked someone's wireless
What a cheeky young miss.

But regardless of this,
Her internet was back
So she wasted her time
Writing poetry and other cack.

=D

Yeah. Take that.
Also, I had my Anthropology presentation on Monday which could have gone worse. I think it was okay so I'm feeling quite good about that. It's weird to think though that I've had 6 weeks of lectures and I've already finished 2 of my modules for the year. Very bizarre. I'm a little worried about exams next week just because I feel like I haven't really learnt anything. And not because I haven't been working but just because it's been such a short time.

Anyway, onto other news.

Today I ran out of food. (Well, technically it was yesterday evening). So I knew I had to go food shopping. But the weather was horrible so I knew I had to do it on the way home because I wouldn't leave my house again if I got into the warm.

I picked up a few things in town and then went onto Albert Heijn and Lidl to get my food.

As I'm cycling home the wind picks up and it's been drizzling on and off all day so it started doing that again. Then, all of a sudden, there is a heavy hail storm. And I'm stuck in the middle of it with shopping bags, a wooly hat and skinny jeans.

Oh, that was a fun ride home.

Turns out the best buy of the day was not food (which I would have starved without) it was the preemptive waterproof mascara.

Bargain.

&&Fin.

Tut Tut, Looks Like Rain

Day ?? - That Time I Regretted My Tight-Fisted-Ness

Woke up today and was greeted by the heavens opening before my very eyes. Still, this is the Netherlands so I was prepared with my ex-police water proof trousers (tres chic) and my mac in a pack for the onslaught of rain. My friend wanted to go to the shops before we headed into Uni (so didn't manage to have a cup of tea before we left) so we cycled over earlier than usual.

Just as we're locking up our bikes something occurs to me; it's Monday morning.

And, say it with me dear readers, Groningen dies for Sunday and Monday morning!

Of course it does.

So nothing is open. And now my friend is annoyed and wet. So we cycle to Uni as quickly as we can. When I describe the journey to you (full of perils, be warned) I am not exagerrating (much).

In Groningen the wind seems to not only be blowing the rain straight in your face but it also appears to be slashing at your bike sideways. The force is so immense that it either makes you drift towards the cars that drive along beside you or dangerously close to the pavement curb which, with the anorexic wheels I have on Hoj, would send me head over arse rather effectively. If you manage to hold on during this battering, the rain is the next foe to face.

It doesn't fall downwards.

It whips at you from (seemingly) all directions. But it particularly likes smacking you around the face for a bit. Now, as an avid glasses wearer, this was especially menacing for me. Anyone with an optical affliction will sympathise, I'm sure. Not only am I blinking owlishly every few seconds but my glasses are slowly becoming useless because of the amount of rain they seem to be attracting. Then, as if blurred vision isn't bad enough, the glass starts fogging up.

It's like being stuck in quick sand; it's slow, painfully obvious what's going to happen and there's nothing you can do about it. The more you swipe and struggle the quicker your situation deteriorates.

Eventually I had to take them off completely and just follow the weave and wobble of my friend's bicycle wheel in front of me.

To make matters worse, when I arrive I realise I have not applied waterproof mascara and now resemble Alice Cooper; The Transvestite Years.

Wonderful.

I also discovered that, whilst I had assumed my mac in a pack would be waterproof (name kind of hinted that it might be) it is, in fact, not. Not at all. My arms, chest, stomach and all the areas in between were completely soaked. But, thanks to my ex-police trousers my bottom half remained perfectly dry. Huzzah!

Sat through my four hours of lectures and then went to buy a REAL raincoat. One that might man up to the fearsome weather of the Netherlands.

Of course, by the time I exited the shop and cycled home it was no longer raining.

But, then again, we all knew that's what would happen anyway, didn't we? Who wants to take bets that tomorrow it's bright sunshine?



&&Fin