I Think Children Are Like Pancakes; You Sort Of Ruin The First One And You Get Better At It The Second Time Around

That Time We Indulged the Foodie Inside Me

What The Buzz: #PancakeDay

Dear readers, I have sadly neglected The Blog for several weeks and, for that, I apologise.

Life has been insanely busy recently but that is no excuse.

I thought I would make it up to you all by discussing one of my favourite days of the year: Shrove Tuesday.

This holiday always creeps up on me and I am only aware of it at the very last minute despite my deep-seated love for the day itself and the eponymous confection the day brings.

We're talking about Pancake Day for anyone still unused to my writing style.

I am something of a traditionalist when it comes to pancakes - sugar and lemon is just fine with me thank you very much.  But I fully appreciate the benefits of the more outlandish recipes:-

Warning: Product placement. 

....errr....

It seems as though the Twittersphere is equally as excited for Pancake day as I am:

Can we just eat all the pancakes now?? 🍴 #PancakeDay pic.twitter.com/5Qu1Nvdste

— Brastop (@Brastop) February 8, 2016

And let's not forget the inevitable puns...

Holy crepe, it's flipping #PancakeDay tomorrow.

— Danny O'Reilly (@dannyoreilly84) February 8, 2016

Even the Beeb aren't above puns on Pancake Day:

Did you know tomorrow is #PancakeDay ? Apparently it just creped up on us..

— BBC Good Food Show (@BBCGoodFoodShow) February 8, 2016

Regardless of my own personal love of Pancake Day, the reason for choosing this Hashtag for #WhatTheBuzz this week was this headline which immediately grabbed my attention:

It's #pancakeday tomorrow but did you know pancakes are helping to prevent blindness? https://t.co/8iEWbGMAwk pic.twitter.com/C8rf5dyjPy

— CNET (@CNET) February 8, 2016

Okay, so total click bait title but the article was actually very interesting.

And if, like me, you were hoping that eating a buttload of pancakes will help improve your eyesight, prepare to be greatly disappointed.  The truth of the matter is that cooking different types of batter at different thicknesses and noting how the fluid escapes is assisting UCL in determining better methods of treating glaucoma which is a build up of pressure in the eyes caused by fluid.

So, there you have it; the humble pancake is helping in modern medicinal miracles.

Plus...there is also Pancake Art:




If that doesn't make you love Pancake Day, then, frankly, I don't know what your flipping problem is.

(I, too, am not above puns. ...Sorry).

&&Fin.

Words Are Memes That Can Be Pronounced

That Time We Talked About The Latest Online Plague Trend

What The Buzz: #DontBeLike

First things first, I have to say thank you to all you lovely readers - we reached 2,500 views this week! Thank you, thank you to everyone who has read The Blog and hopefully cracked a smile at the various antics detailed within.

You all rock.

And this week we will be looking at the stick figures that took over Facey B.

'Be Like Bill'

...Or else.

This is Bill.

(Oh, God, now I'm doing it too.)

This is the meme that appeared and then spread like wildfire through facebook and twitter.  Whilst the meme was initially fairly harmless, it soon became a subject of ridicule (as every fad does eventually...does anyone remember how stupid the ice bucket challenge was?! Or makeup-less selfies? Yep...saving the planet there guys.  Good work.)

This meme did not stay popular for long. 

Err...that escalated really quickly.

This was a perfect example of how quickly a really simple idea can spread when embraced by enough people. And how, despite becoming a subject for mockery just as quickly, it was still EVERYWHERE.

How many of these memes have you seen in the past week? pic.twitter.com/IGTXIPsQR1

— What's Trending (@WhatsTrending) January 24, 2016

#prettymuch #stickfigureoverkill #belike #dontbelike pic.twitter.com/Bt2k9CPcEW

— catalina shoate (@shoatezoo) January 25, 2016

According to several credible news sites, the idea behind Be Like Bill was to call out annoying social media habits.

...yeah.

The irony is actually tangible.

Be Like Bill actually started in late 2015 but it has recently become a viral hit following the creation of several meme generators that allow people to put their own names/scenarios in the frame.  And of course generated the anti-Bill meme; Don't Be Like Bill. 

This will, undoubtedly, go the way of other social media fads but, for the meantime, the Interwebz has something new to hate/ridicule and that should satiate her for now.

I had to have a go myself (obviously) and the first few were so random that I realised people must be spending a significant amount of time re-generating their personal memes until they got one that was #relatable or at least somewhat appropriate.

If you want to have a go yourself the link is here.

And I totally won't judge you.

...until you post it on facebook.  And then you should really worry when I get around to doing my next friendship cull.

&&Fin.

If You Think Adventure Is Dangerous, Try Routine; It's Lethal

That Time We Made Some Predictions

Happy New Year, dear readers!

2016 is well and truly upon us and 2015 has been left in the dust.  I realise that over the holiday period I have been particularly rubbish with updates so I am trying to get back into good habits and good routine.

...by missing the first What The Buzz post of the year.

Ahem.

In any event, the start of a new year is always a chance for reflection and prediction. And rather than focus too much on the past year (dear readers, 2015 has been a whirlwind of an adventure I can assure you!) I thought we would cast our eyes to the future and make some deeply insightful predictions.

But not just for 2016.  That is far too mundane for All Those Books And Still Not Smart.

Let us cast our aspersions further into the future and, in hundreds of years, when this blog is found amongst the rubble (after the nuclear war, zombie apocalypse and inevitable insanity that will ensue when George R R Martin passes away without completing A Song of Fire and Ice), the people of the future will hail me as a Prophet with knowledge beyond her years.

...Maybe.

So here we go, I am now going to predict a list of things that the People of Tomorrow will find bizarre that we find very mundane - even routine you might say (not a tenuous link to the title AT ALL).

1. Waxing

Of any and all varieties.

How do they make it look so gentle?! HOW?!

I am a major fan of waxing - legs, eyebrows, bikini line you name it! But it dawned on me on the drive back from my latest appointment that it was just bizarre. I pay a lovely girl a princely sum to rip the hair from my follicles.  All in the name of beauty.

The People of Tomorrow will see this folly and laugh.

For when the nuclear winter sets in, the hairiest people will be the ones to survive.  And us hairless idiots will curse the day they ever invented the 'Brazilian'.

2. Brussel Sprouts

I personally quite like these mini vegetables.  Particularly in bubble and squeak. 

But I know plenty of people (weirdos) that force themselves to eat brussel sprouts over Christmas even though they hate them because it is The Done Thing. 

How could anyone hate these little guys? They're so cute!

The People of Tomorrow will not force themselves to eat things they do not like.

They will have developed food synthesizers that automatically inject the necessary vitamins and nutrients needed to live with receptors in their taste buds giving a realistic impression of eating. 

...or they just have a butt ton of Willy Wonka's three course gum.

Either way - food is obsolete. 

And brussel sprouts even more so.

3. Emojis

This will go one of two ways:-

a) Emojis are viewed as modern hieroglyphics and scholars spend lifetimes trying to figure out complicated phrases like

Turns out we are a very one dimensional generation...

or;

b) Emojis have replaced all meaningful communication:

Ah...young love...maybe?!

4. Plastic Surgery

Much like the lobotomies and electric shock therapy of the 20th century or when women used to visit doctor's surgeries for 'hysteria' (read as: sexual frustration), the People of Tomorrow will balk when they realise that we, as a race, are comfortable with the idea of slicing ourselves open and inserting plastic bits and bobs to enhance/shape and otherwise sculpt our physical appearance.  Liposuction, face lifts, lip plumpers will all be viewed with the same disdain by the androgynous People of Tomorrow who value personality far, far about physical appearance.

Spread love not war and all that other good stuff.

Hey! A girl can dream.

This in turn leads to sexuality no longer being a defining characteristic as the People of Tomorrow will fall in love with individual people and not a gender overall. 

Sexual relationships for the purposes of reproducing will be redundant as science will have advanced and perfected the pregnancy process so that it is no longer necessary to heave a sack of baby and goop around for 9 months in order to pro-create.  Of course, the People of Tomorrow fully appreciate that should people wish to continue this antiquated practice, they are more than welcome to. 

They just don't have to.

But back to plastic surgery...

The kind of operations people are undergoing fairly regularly haven't really been around that long and I always wonder whether there are any side effects later on down the road.  For example laser eye surgery - if I had my eyes done now, what would be happening in there in 50 years time?  Nobody could tell me because we haven't had the procedure available for that long. 

People are very quick to jump in and alter their bodies almost irreparably without really knowing whether there is any long lasting damage or latent side effects. 

Perhaps the People of Tomorrow will also share my concerns.

5. Justin Bieber

Hundreds of years into the future, Justin Bieber will be hailed as the mastermind musician of our time. 

Justin knows.

Justin will continue to rise through the charts and one day will be considered 'a classic'.  The People of Tomorrow will laugh at the blip in 2012-mid 2015 when Bieber was the butt of jokes and generally a hated public figure.  They will scratch their heads and wonder how this could have happened given his enduring popularity following the release of his fourth studio album 'Purpose'.

(I'm serious though, those songs are damn catchy. #guiltypleasure)

These are just a few of my predictions for the coming decades. 

In the meantime, for 2016 I foresee several holidays, Wilderness Festival, Comic Con and finishing Law School.

And that is quite enough for me to be getting on with for the time being.

&&Fin.

All Human Wisdom Is Summed Up In Two Words - Wait And Hope

Day 12 - That Time I Realised That When You Are Meant To Be Busy It Is Easy To Find Distractions But When You Have Nothing To Do It Is Impossible To Fill The Day

I quite literally have nothing to do.

I could fly home tomorrow if I wasn't quite so sure that I will have to do a re-sit. All I am doing is waiting for exam results and, if they are published saying I passed, I could have gone home yesterday.

It is very frustrating.

I have taken to perusing dress and shoe websites which is only causing more frustration and depression when I realise that there is no way I can afford them.

Excuse me while I go and drown my sorrows with Earl Grey.

&&Fin.

To Send A Letter Is A Good Way To Go Somewhere Without Moving Anything But Your Heart

Day 6 - That Time I Did Basically Nothing For A Week

I have been doing anything and everything to avoid revision, feeling guilty, doing an hour of revision and then repeating the whole filthy cycle all over again.

It is not healthy.

Three good things have happened this week:
1) Passed EU External Relations with 70%. This is incredible because I didn't think I would pass and, when I read the paper, I didn't understand one of the questions!!

2) Passed International and Comparative Criminology with 90%! I literally squee-ed when I read that. (And I may have got Heart radio to congratulate me on air too. I'm not a nerd.)

3) Was reunited with my beautiful, amazing house mate. =D (Although this came with a warning from her boyfriend not to be a homewrecker. =/ Didn't realise I gave out the lesbian vibe quite that much. Should definitely work on reigning that in.)

The rest of the week has been filled with mundane chores and eating. But something did really make me smile which was organising a reunion to Guildford with my ex-flat mates and friends. So we've arranged to all go up on a weekend in February and catch up which will be amazing. I am so excited about it that I had a dream about it the other night.

It has been far too long since I last saw them all.

And it's nice to know that, despite everyone going off and doing their own thing and not seeing each other for nearly 6 months, everyone was really keen to get together and spend some time together. I managed to see most of them at some point over the summer or Christmas but I know that a few of them haven't seen each other since last June. Which is a really long time to not see someone who you used to see every day when you fought to get in the shower! It's not like we haven't all kept in touch over the past few months - it sounds really old fashioned but I've been writing letters to people and it's been a lovely way to catch up with what people are doing without that impersonal, anonymity of facebook. Facebook often just feels like the easy way out when trying to catch up with friends so it has really meant a lot to me that people have bothered to send me things in the post.

If I'm honest though, this rant has just helped me avoid revision for 15 minutes so I should probably stop and actually get to work.

Or I could go and clean the kitchen, organise my sock drawer, doodle aimlessly....

&&Fin

The True Sign Of Intelligence Is Not Knowledge But Imagination.

Day ?? - That Time I Got Sucked In

I have been re-watching the first season of the American-Australian TV show 'Farscape'. Not only because A) it's awesome but B) I am bored of revision.

And, as I was watching, I got to an episode where John lands on a planet and is left there for 3 months. Somehow he becomes Tom Hanks (sans Wilson the volleyball) and has no power to get off the planet. I was so sucked in by the show that I actually said ALOUD (bear in mind that I was watching it alone) 'wow, that planet looks a lot like Earth'.

Where does my brain think the rest of the scenes are filmed?

But, I swear, I honestly forgot for one second that I was watching a sci-fi TV show.

If that's not the sign of a good show then I don't know what is.

&& Fin.

Here's To The Pilot That Weathered The Storm

Day ?? - That Time I Regretted Not Starving

Hello, dear readers.

I know that my absence in writing must have caused more than a few broken hearts but fear not! For I have returned with a vengeance.

The Tale of The Disconnection
Twas a cold Thursday eve
And the winter drew in
There was nought to do
But to sit and to sin.

A young girl was sat,
Her head in her hands,
For the internet was down
Along with her plans.

For she hoped she could watch
(As she was wont to do)
Some TV shows of hers
(There were more than a few).

But alas come the night
When the stars shone so gay
Her connection was gone
It had fluttered away.

Onward she battled
Through sever and gateway
But she turned to the vodka
So miserable was her day.

Then she partied all night
Danced till her feet turned blue
As she prayed that tomorrow
Her connection would be renewed.

All through Friday she suffered
Without book (face or lame),
Till she called the IT man
Such was her pain.

She knocked on his dwelling,
Filled with such dread,
For she had heard if you woke him,
He ripped off your head.

He opened the door,
She stifled a cry.
"What do you want?"
He roared with fee and with fi.

Calmly she told him
Her woes and her needs
He slammed the door in her face
And went about his dark, IT deeds.

A few minutes later,
And a few minutes more,
A muffled apology
Could be heard through the door.

"There's nought to be done."
He shrugged and he waved.
"Your internet's gone.
It cannot be saved."

Beaten, defeated,
The girl returned home
Where the only thing to do
Was to whine and to moan.

"Unhelpful wretch!
What on earth shall I do?
I have a project on Monday
And I'll miss Smallville too."

The weekend came
And the weekend went
She was ready to demand
A reduction of her rent.

In her hours of seclusion,
Cut off from the world
She managed to get through
An entire series of Gossip Girl.

But Monday came
And the IT man did too
"Turns out it's just your IPv6
It'll be as good as new."

The girl rejoiced
Her luck was finally in,
But her stomach lurched
When she saw IT man grin.

"Yep, reconnected
In a day or three.
That's what you get
For awakening me."

He left with a chuckle,
The girl still without power
So she sat down and counted
Every minute, every hour.

Lucky for her
(And her sanity too)
She was reconnected Tuesday
And she had much to do.

There were programs to watch
And emails to write
And secrets to keep
Of the events of Sunday night.

For nobody knew
That the girl was a whizz
That she hacked someone's wireless
What a cheeky young miss.

But regardless of this,
Her internet was back
So she wasted her time
Writing poetry and other cack.

=D

Yeah. Take that.
Also, I had my Anthropology presentation on Monday which could have gone worse. I think it was okay so I'm feeling quite good about that. It's weird to think though that I've had 6 weeks of lectures and I've already finished 2 of my modules for the year. Very bizarre. I'm a little worried about exams next week just because I feel like I haven't really learnt anything. And not because I haven't been working but just because it's been such a short time.

Anyway, onto other news.

Today I ran out of food. (Well, technically it was yesterday evening). So I knew I had to go food shopping. But the weather was horrible so I knew I had to do it on the way home because I wouldn't leave my house again if I got into the warm.

I picked up a few things in town and then went onto Albert Heijn and Lidl to get my food.

As I'm cycling home the wind picks up and it's been drizzling on and off all day so it started doing that again. Then, all of a sudden, there is a heavy hail storm. And I'm stuck in the middle of it with shopping bags, a wooly hat and skinny jeans.

Oh, that was a fun ride home.

Turns out the best buy of the day was not food (which I would have starved without) it was the preemptive waterproof mascara.

Bargain.

&&Fin.